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Leave. Straight up irish goodbye. There’ll be more parties if you don’t have a rep for literally smelling like shit. Toss the underwear on the way home.
I don't care if I don’t have a ride or how far I would have to walk. Just start walking. Hell, I'm not even worried about being abducted, cause I already shit myself
I'm just picturing walking home and a van pulls up. Guys with guns jump out and scream "get in the van!"
"whats that smell?" and you reply "I shit my pants"
"forget it, get out. We'll find someone else who isn't covered in their shit... And we'll send you the bill for cleaning our seat!"
I'm surprised this isn't the only answer.
To paraphrase Mike Tyson, everyone has a plan until they shit their own pants.
I've heard a story about this after party where things were getting a bit raunchy and at some point they where sitting naked on the couch. Apparently one of the guys kind of shit himself and he decided to just not move an inch. When everyone else took a smoke break, he left the party and with that an accompanying shit stain in the couch.
Needless to say that he didn't really get any new invites after that
I would have stole the cushion tbh
Ngl that would've been the better choice
Steal the cushion, wash it at home, bring it back pretending it was some kind of weird drunk prank, no one would be the wiser
I mean, if bro returned my cushion all fresh and clean and apologized for shitting on it I'd be like damn this motherfucker is responsible