Ask Lemmy

Unfortunately you will meet many more like this person. They are not special or unique, they are a dime a dozen and yes, it is a skill in learning how to work with them. Amazon does make more than their fair share of these people, and it's because it is a ruthless environment there, where if you want to do anything like get a promotion or raise you have to be visceral. At Amazon, yelling and tearing people down is a normal.

Luckily most I see who leave do not want to continue on like that, but it is clear when Amazon has left it's mark on someone. That being said, that's their problem, you have to learn how to work with them.

I see many in this thread addressing what should happen at a societal/company level, but that is all irrelevant when it's you and your career. For that, you have to act personally and decide how to move forward. That stuff is all well and good but we're talking about your personal career trajectory.

A few notes, I don't know what you're like at all so these aren't personal towards you, but rather my own personal findings when working with leadership who I may be at odds with.

• Use hard facts and figures
  • Hedging, using phrases like "I think" or "I believe" are drilled into them as saying you don't know what you are talking about. Learn to be confident in what you are saying, or if you are not be confident in not knowing. Switch to concrete "It is" and "I do not know, but I'll find out (by X time).
  • NEVER lie. They are literally trained to pick up on lies, and they WILL find out. They have techniques on how to figure out how much of a problem you actually know.
• Do not include emotion/personal feelings.
  • Best left at home or for a venting session later. Emotion will fall on deaf ears, and will be seen as you being unable to handle yourself. It's harsh, yes, but be stoic. Ex amazon people have screamed in my face, be ready for encounters like that and stay neutral, using language above.
• Keep personal thoughts about them out of the room.
  • They know you dislike them. Don't let it come through in the meeting. Prove your worth with your work. Their vapid buzzwords and metrics are how they will discern your ability to do your job. It's their game, and you can either learn it, or be shown the door.

Just a few. I'll add more if I think of any. On the side, yes they are hard to work with, but take it as a skill to learn how to work with them. You'll only see more through your career.

As for your job, you can try again but I would be doubtful that they're going to approve it if your company has hard rules about location. You may not want to, but you also need to address the fact that they more than likely will not let you move. Is your want to move larger than your want to not switch jobs? Your VP and your company are not going to look out for what your life needs, that's your responsibility. If you need to move, you're going to need to make that happen, even if it means leaving.