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It's not necessarily your problem. Especially on the internet.
Don't let the opinions of strangers who are often willfully and ignorantly interpreting you dictate what you mean.
If you have certain discussions you want to be a part of, well read up on that topic, get informed. And choose sources, which, as you say, are interested in understanding things, rather than proving a point or 'winning'.
They exist. But boy oh boy is most of the info out there some weird petty dummy who just wants to beat up on anyone else who has a different opinion. And most often this is the type of person you will encounter in discussions, both IRL and on the internet, and the best response to those people is to ignore them and focus your energy on folks who want to engage you in the way you want to be engaged.
Yeah on the internet it's a losing game trying to convince people. I am just having this problem IRL in my friend group. Having opposing views and not being the best debater, or being able to formulate my opinions well makes me feel like I am defending myself. I am just trying to up my communications skills. Hopefully it will lead to the debates/topics being less charged.
It's similar in real life tbh, people are people and charged is charged. I've sort of given up on the idea of having a "good" discussion, and most of the research I've ever done into "proper arguments" essentially only makes it clear that nobody else tends to give a damn about it. Which means the knowledge only really serves to show you how all the discussions you do have... ain't it. Whenever someone breaks a "rule" of debating, pointing it out will not actually help you.
Fair enough. The true skill is being able to laugh at yourself and not take things or other people too serious. The mind of an overthinker :p
I know it well 😅
Of course this isn't to say it's completely useless or anything. If nothing else, knowing about all the fallacies and different flavors of bullshit is helpful in other circumstances. But I stand by my jadedness otherwise
Cheers to that and my ignorance. May it become less, and better formulated in the future