Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Hello!
May I ask how you'd like to be referred to if not by your username?
I cracked several years ago but, like I'm sure many folks experience, I fought actually transitioning until it got to a point where it couldn't be contained anymore. Once I finally became aware of my gender incongruence, I thought I could manage it by separating it between my public and personal personas. Like a demi-gender or bi-gender sort of thing. The dichotomy of feeling so comfortable and secure in my femininity at home vs the distress of having an identity that didn't fit that everyone else in my life saw got to be too much. The growing anti-trans sentiment spreading across the globe pushed me over the edge and I will not allow a bunch of old ugly people dictate who I can and can't be.
Spite powered me through the early stages of transitioning. That was until I was able to see something in myself to truly love.
As I transitioned, I learned that my hesitancy was rooted in a lot of internalized transphobia. Like I thought that I would never achieve the unrealistically high expectations I had for my desired outcome so why try, or that everyone would always know I'm trans as if that's a bad thing. It's taken a lot to unpack all that and it's crazy to reflect on because I feel so adorable and confident now.
I've been lurking around the blahaj zone for a while, like almost 2 years lol. I've gotten to recognize several of the more active members and this space feels so comfortable. I'm eternally grateful to girlies like Dandelion who wrote of her experiences so eloquently and openly that it really helped me process my early transition and see a pathway through it. I hope that I can carry that torch and share more of myself as time goes on :)
Thanks for commenting!
Ohhh no, slight misunderstanding, I love that name, it's just even worse now than my old one for similar reasons as the ones you mentioned x)
Yeah, I think that's the path most of us walk for a while. I feel like the outlier here, the moment I cracked I pushed for everything transition as fast as I could, still do. It somehow gave me a decisiveness I couldn't ever have imagined. Not that there were no anxiety or doubt, but I could manage.
These are so beautiful, I'm real happy for you :). Eager to see what you're going to share, when you feel like it.
So I consider my egg cracking a different not event from starting to transition.This was me once I started coming out. I speed ran my social transition and just hopscotched from one milestone to another. Its like I spent so much time figuring out what I wanted from transitioning that once I made the decision I was just like "okay, let's go".
Oh I got that, I think that's how it goes for most of us? The realization of being trans followed by a phase of what one's gonna do with it.
For me these events just overlapped pretty much. Of course the cracking took a while, but the second I actually got it (when I finally read through the gender dysphoria bible) was the same moment where I decided I'll transition and come out to my loved ones ASAP. I've been searching for that answer for over a decade, when I finally got it I jumped in real fast. Still not sure where I took the guts for that from tbh.
I get that. Some of my friends have told me how brave I am and I'm just like "I don't really feel brave, I just got fed up". Thank you for sharing :)
ah this is so beautiful, thanks for writing it out