this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2026
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Asklemmy
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Ace person here. "You just need to find the right person" and variations of that are something we often get.
On the more malicious end of the spectrum, you get stuff like "you just need a good fucking first"
There are also people who feel that ace people should not be included in queer pride or have their own flag/identity.
I wouldn't have put "you just haven't found the right one yet" in the discrimination category. That strikes me as helpless and ignorant rather than structurally evil. But I guess it's the repetition of it.
The "good fucking" one I'm with you. That's awful. And the pride-internal groupthink is discriminating too.
Thanks for broadening my horizon.
"You just haven't found the right one yet" is a typical passive aggressive way of telling people that they don't know themselves.
So for me, a lesbian, I got "you just haven't met the right man yet" many times. Most of the people saying that didn't know how many men I have known.