Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Hi! I'm a cis-het man, so I'm a guest in this space, and have already gone back and forth 100 times on whether to post anything at all, but eventually decided to. I just wanted to say I've encountered cis-het vulvas that look exactly like those pictured, so if your outcome looks anything like those then you're in amazing company.
In my limited experience, feeling self-conscious about characteristics your vagina either has or doesn't have, or has too much of or not enough of, is unfortunately pretty common amongst cis women, so you may be in a place to "level-up" your dysphoria into common internalized misogyny! Yay... ๐
If any of this has come across as creepy or inappropriate or hurtful in any way, I obviously can't take it back, but please let me know and I'll delete this comment as soon as I see, or if I don't see soon enough please get a mod to blow it all away. It's a sensitive area, and tone is hard to judge over text, and also maybe none of it was a good idea. kthnxluvyoubye!
you are welcome here!
Thanks for your affirming words. ๐
I do think my vagina could "pass as cis" in many contexts (which brings me immense relief as headlines increase about women being targeted and harassed in bathrooms, and about new TSA policies that prohibit women officers from doing pat-downs for trans women), but I think a gynecologist would probably be able to tell my vagina is not natal (from the lack of inner labia, and the location / placement of my urethra and vaginal opening - which are a bit lower than they "should" be for a natal vagina).
That said, you're right that at some point my dysphoria becomes sort of closer to the nit-picking and insecurity that cis women express ... it's confusing, though, because there is research on this difference - clinically speaking, trans women like me do actually see benefits from cosmetic surgeries that feminize the face or labiaplasties to make a neo-vagina more typical of a natal vagina, etc. whereas cis women who are insecure about their face or labia almost never see clinical benefits from the same cosmetic surgeries. Body dysmorphia can't be fixed with surgeries, but gender dysphoria can.
So, I assume while it may look the same, probably it isn't the same. My sensitivities are just higher and I see and live with all the ways I fall short of the woman I feel I should be (and in ways surgery will never fix - like the size and shape of my shoulders, my forearms, my hands, etc.).
Thank you for being so kind and considerate, and for bringing up such affirming and supportive points ๐ซถ