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We don't because:
Lemmy has not "gotten worse" in my opinion. It was worse to begin with and when I arrived a few years ago, the first thing I had to urgently learn is how to filter out what I call its 'noise': that constant (and self-celebrating) hatred for 'the other camp', the hatred for those who dare not think like 'us' (I certainly don't put myself in that group). I then moved from Lemmy to Piefed, mostly because back then at least it offered me simpler/more efficient ways to filter out that noise.
Like mentioned in other comments, the only way is through changing (civil) society itself. Aka through education.
As long as our respective public educative systems (I'm from France, but I know it's as shitty in the USA if not worse) are allowed to not do their job of actually educating and teaching kids some common values and principles (next to some actual knowledge and know-how), toxicity will thrive.
It thrives because it has been normalized and because those who benefit from it are being regarded as role models. But it's even worse than that: just publicly discussing this issue and its causes would expose anyone to being... punished by an angry toxic crowd of people that don't want to hear they're being toxic (or that their 'ideology' they want so hard to believe in have morphed them into assholes). That is a huge loss for any freedom respecting society, and a huge win for those benefiting from that hate/toxicity.
edit: clarifications.
2 reminded me of a saying. You're not stuck in traffic, you ARE traffic.
Couldn't agree more! People should be more tolerant and stop hating on people having different opinions