this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
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Honestly, marrying a river seems like it could be a helpful cultural practice to preserve its health. Imagine if there were people who married natural formations to protect them. Preventing bank erosion, keeping its ecosystem healthy, watching out for pollution. This should probably be a thing.
one person is not enough for that. we need river polycules!
“I married this 100-meter stretch of this river”
I'm redoing the lanes... Luxury width!
Idk if it's still a thing, but I recall one could adopt sections of highways, where they'd pick up litter, maybe make occasional payments for maintenance; and in exchange they get a sign shouting-out the person or business. A comment below by Zorcron mentioned this was an act of environmental activism, so it sounds like this is a bit of the same situation here.
If you put it like that it actually does sound like a pretty good idea
I found an article. Apparently her last name was Trump before she took the river's name, Avon. Which is an extremely reasonable decision.
https://nypost.com/2026/03/24/world-news/woman-who-married-a-river-to-raise-awareness-celebrates-third-wedding-anniversary/
Avon is a sick name, i'd take it too lmao
It kind of is.. Not in a one-to-one relationship sense, but there are rivers that are legally and socially considered people
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20200319-the-new-zealand-river-that-became-a-legal-person
Damn. Now Ben Aaronovitches books make a lot more sense. Can totally recommend btw
I will marry a freeway interchange