this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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I was raised to address strangers and those I wish to show social deference to as "Sir" or "Ma'am". It's a difficult habit to break, as it is deeply engrained.

What is an equivalent gender neutral honorific that is relatively common in English? If I can't break the habit I'd rather have a substitute word to use instead of an awkward pause in the middle of addressing someone

I'd just use Google to ask but I'd rather ask the people directly rather than an AI generated answer based off of Reddit threads

ETA: I suppose if Yessir and Yes'm work, Yesn't could too? Mostly joking… but maybe… 🤔

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[–] TheAsianDonKnots@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I was raised in southern hospitality, so I know exactly what you’re going through.

I just stopped using pronouns altogether.

“Excuse me” “Thank you” “I appreciate you” “Do you know the way to San Jose”

Turns out 99% of interactions don’t depend on what genitals a person’s rocking. I guess if you’re asked to identify a suspect in a crime it might help? Point being, stop focusing on their crotch and what they’re doing with it 😁 you’ve been trained to be weird about it.

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

'San' is gendered /s

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 8 hours ago

You is a pronoun btw, just it's only used in specific contexts

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I just stopped using pronouns altogether.

“Excuse me” “Thank you” “I appreciate you” “Do you know the way to San Jose”

ALL of these have pronouns. At least one of them has multiple pronouns! Haha

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world -1 points 5 hours ago

Didn't be a pendant, and don't laugh after being a pendant. It's condescending and rude.

[–] TheAsianDonKnots@lemmy.zip 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry, meant gender pronouns.

[–] nile_istic@lemmy.world -1 points 19 hours ago

Everyone with a brain knew what you meant, don't worry.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

What are talking about? Said it perfectly fine, are being intentionally dense. Sorry but people like annoy the shit out of.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

("it" is also a pronoun")

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net -5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't not address a person, that's incredibly rude.

[–] LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You can address someone without gendered pronouns... they even gave examples.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can and do address people without gendered pronouns. OP was suggesting not addressing them with an honorific at all.

[–] LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That might be the words they said while completely ignoring the examples, but those examples made it abundantly clear that they meant gendered pronouns.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 points 20 hours ago

Their examples:

“Excuse me” “Thank you” “I appreciate you” “Do you know the way to San Jose”

The individual they are speaking to is not formally addressed. I'm not going to address a stranger informally.