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Leaving the house.
I used to take my family out to do things like go to the zoo or the movies and get some dinner while we're out, but with the prices how they are, we can only afford to go out for dinner once or twice a month, let alone tickets for anything.
This hits. I used to love hiking. I used to hike all the time. It's free. But I have to drive there. That takes fuel. And the more I drive my car, the more likely it is that something on it will break. I can't afford a repair bill right now, and I can't afford to be without a car. I have a one hour commute to work with no public transportation available, and I have zero friends or family to help me, so if I'm without a car, I can't get to work, now I lose my job, I can't pay rent and lose my home, and I'm homeless.
All I want to do is go back to hiking to relieve some of the anxiety of life, but just thinking about it sends me into a doom spiral of "what if something happens and you ruin your life because you wanted to go walk in the woods".
Only twice a month! When I was growing up, my family went out for dinner maybe twice in 20 years haha. Though that's a bit of a culture difference, I've noticed that in America its very normal to out to dinner. Over here it's more of a special occasion thing, someone turned 50 years old or retired etc.
I specifically remember those two times. I was maybe 6 years of age and I was so confused and unsure about everything. I was just thinking, why are we going out, I don't know the food there, I don't know what everything tastes like, I don't know if I'll like things. I don't remember what I ordered but I do remember feeling awkward for telling the waiter what I wanted and then she asked me questions of how I would like the food to be! I didn't know lol. It was a horrible experience.
The next time we went out to eat, I was maybe 14 or 15. That was more relaxed from my part, I just ordered a stake, I had watched enough Gordon Ramsay to know not to order it well done. So everything went fine on that occasion.
But to be honest, I don't wish we went out more. I feel like going out is just a unnecessary hassle. I mean.. theres other people there, yuck.
What I do remember fondly is the times we went to my grandma's place for Sunday dinner. Nothing fancy, just some potatoes, some sort of gravy, whatever. The food was not important. The important bit was to see my cousin, going out to the woods/playground while the adults had prepared the dinner. I remember how our family was in charge of bringing the potatoes, or maybe it was our turn to bring the salad stuff and whatnot.
Anyway, this turned into a ramble. I'll stop here before it gets even more incoherent.
Same, never want to do things with my parents in case they freak out at how much it costs, barely want to go on big trips myself in case i never financially recover 😁