this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
15 points (82.6% liked)

AskTransgender

736 readers
7 users here now

A place to ask transgender people questions and get answers about the trans experience.

Rules:

  1. Respect other people's identities

  2. No Fetishizing Trans people

  3. No Gatekeeping about not being "trans enough"

  4. No Inciting Drama

  5. No personal Agendas

  6. Posts should encourage discussion

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
will_steal_your_username@lemmy.blahaj.zone
araneae@beehaw.org
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone
15
[CW: Mentions Suicide] How to get over regret about bottom surgery without killing myself? (programming.dev)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by MarthaPuppyGirl@programming.dev to c/asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone
NSFW 14 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn't say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it's healed for over a month and it hasn't gone away. It's gotten worse! I feel like I'm broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn't fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.

Don't tell me that I don't regret it and that regret is rare. This isn't the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don't regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.

I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I'll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ProbabalyAmber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago

Trying to separate the things I personally want from the things that the people around me want can be so, so hard. I was raised by my loving, conservative parents who would have sent me to a conversion camp if I had come out to them when I was a kid, because they love me and that's what their echo chamber would have recommend they do as what's best for their kid. I still regret not coming out earlier, even knowing this, as T has done a lot of damage to my body.

I'm transfem, use she/her, and love my penis. We exist, don't let the transmeds tell you otherwise.

I was coerced by my community to stay in the closet much longer than I wanted to, and it caused regrets. You were coerced by your community to undergo a surgery you didn't want, and it caused regrets.

I wish I had advice for you on what to do or where to go next, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Part of life is learning to live with our regrets, to move forward nonetheless. I think those who are suggesting a therapist are probably correct, a good therapist can help you unpack those big feelings, process them, and move on.

I know it's unconventional in these kinds of spaces but in gonna tell you anyway, I'm praying for you!