this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026
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edit: the date isn't happening anymore. he texted me asking if we could change the venue as he realized he can't really afford that restaurant at the moment (???, why was this realization so last minute) & i told him no worries i can pay for everything. he told me no way i could ever let a girl pay, it's not fair to the girl and also "emasculating" to him. hate that attitude. called it off and cut contact. thank u, next.

So I hit this guy up on Insta, and we’ve been chatting for the past few days, calling and video calling and all that. Tonight he’s taking me out to dinner; just a date, nothing more. I talk to my parents about everything, and they told me to observe his behavior but keep an open mind.

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[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

Someone who has been having adult relationships for 15 years is going to be able to convince somebody with 0 years of adult relationships of whatever they want. Whether you feel happy or loved, eventually that power imbalance has a high chance of causing serious problems for you that you couldn't have seen coming.

Do it if you want, but go into it knowing that you are probably just a toy and probably won't know until you are set up for a really bad time when you finally see all the things you are currently blind to.

If you need an analogy, think about having a cooking competition between a beginner and a 15 year professional. The beginner probably has no idea how hard they are about to get smoked if they are thinking about their opponent as just another person who likes to cook.