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This whole post is about OP taking issue with criticism.
No, it's not - it's about the seeming inability to disagree politely.
The opposite of strawmanning is steelmanning. It's when you recite a person's view back to them in a way that they agree is exactly what they think. Only after that do you move on to actually discussing the disagreement - now that you're both on the same page instead of talking past each other.
I highly doubt OP would agree with your "steelmanning" of what they said.
Yes, I was never attempting to steelman OP's argument. I was pointing out the flaws of the argument as it is given.
Steelmanning is a tool that is helpful in many situations, but that does not mean it is useful in every situation. Perhaps there is an ideal version of OP's argument, a steelman, that I would agree with. But the actual argument that OP laid out is not ideal, it is hypocritical, and I am pointing that out.
A student who gets a poor grade on a paper does not get to go to the professor and ask them to "steelman" their argument for a better grade. The paper is judged as it is written.
No, you were just pointing out the flaws in your strawman interpretation of their argument.
Steelmanning doesn't mean making their argument better for them or "giving them the benefit of the doubt." It means making sure you've actually understood their point correctly before you start explaining why you disagree. If you can't steelman your opponent's view, then by definition you can't argue against it either - because you haven't grasped what claim you're even trying to counter in the first place.