this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2026
1002 points (99.3% liked)
Programmer Humor
30129 readers
1611 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I had a client who thought I was a miracle worker for changing the color of every link on the site in under an hour.
Then he got mad because it took me three days to add one field to a form.
Most people cannot begin to comprehend that just having the field on the form doesn’t magically make it do anything. Like, yeah, I can add a field to the form in five minutes, but if you want it to actually work, it’ll take time.
Dotcom days, my company charged a venue $30k for an "emergency change" to disable a form and all links to it.
The dev already had a system switch for it. $30k, 10-second change.
My ex brother in law is a commercial refrigeration tech. He did a emergency call to a restaurant that was losing temp on thier walk in freezer. Loaded with food that needed to be kept under freezing. Time was of the essence or all the food would be tossed due to health codes.
He came out diagnoses it. Qoutes a few grand to fix it. Approved. Then he fixes it in like 15min. Just tightened a single screw.
The owner was pissed he paid a few grand for 15min and a single screw tweak.
Tech looked at him and said he paid for it to be fixed. The fact that the fix was a single screw and which screw needed tweaking was specialized knowledge. He paid for the knowledge not the time.
I took that lesson to heart working in IT or really any field. Even when hiring people to do stuff for me. Sometimes it's not just the labor it's also the knowledge.
Isn't this like an urban legend with a guy tightening a screw? Pretty sure I heard this exact thing but in a factory of some sort
Edit: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/06/tap/#1bbd5dce-72dc-448e-ac5e-9b48059cef66
In software as long as its not rushed you can quote something, fix it in 10 minutes and deliver it the next day and people will be amazed you finished it in under a day.
Foresight FTW.
Design mock ups are the bane of my existence.
What do you mean it’ll take 6 months…you have almost all the work done in your demo.
I made some buttons that navigate between pages that have laid out controls on them. Other than those specific navigations…nothing works.
And then you realize that the previous programmer abused the anchors to build all of the buttons.
And 50% of the styles are marked as !important
Hey it's not my fault, this project was started in 2018 and they choose to use bootstrap.
Oh god I didn’t expect that to give me the level of PTSD flashback that it did.
Fuck bootstrap with a rusty pitchfork.
It’s not as bad as it used to be. Some things require you to use a few more selectors that you’d normally write, but that’s really only tables.
Most stuff is exposed via CSS variables nowadays.
Good to know.
I have not touched it in several years so I just remember the 2013-2019 onslaught of bootstrap.
Not important? Sounds good to me.
(I hate that notation)
To be fair to the client, I, as a programmer, often struggle to estimate tasks with accuracy, and am very often at a loss at even explaining to co-workers why some things are easy and others impossible.
I've never felt more called out.
I once just asked how long if would take them to swap the chair and the table, and how long it would take to swap the window and that pillar. After all, it's just moving stuff around. They understood after that.
Careful, that table is critical for getting airflow over that server in the corner. If you move the table it will overheat and cause a cascade of failures and bankrupt the entire company.
And that’s a load bearing chair.
You've just reminded me of a funny time when playing the game Eco with friends. It's sort of like Minecraft but themed around ecological sustainable technological development, and the specialised labour necessary to make that happen. There were about 8 of us in total, and we would drop in and drop out over the course of a month
The way the electric power system worked in Eco is that in addition to dedicated objects you could place to expand the electrical grid, objects that use electricity could also act as repeaters, albeit with a much smaller radius. They didn't even need to be physically connected up to power for this to work. They weren't intended to be used as repeaters; the radius thing was just an artifact of how the electricity mechanic was implemented, to ensure that it wasn't too complex to build an electric grid.
When we were short of materials and expanding our settlements, I ended up implementing a kludge solution of just placing a few unconnected water pumps between our power station and the place we needed to connect to the grid. It was only intended to be a temporary solution — but there's nothing more permanent than a temporary solution.
nipped off the server for a little while, and when I came back, everything had gone to hell due to massive outages across the entire grid. After a while of fruitless troubleshooting, I happened to walk past one of the places where there had previously been a water pump, but there was no longer. I discovered that someone had removed it as part of routine tidying up the world.
Surprised and exasperated, I asked my friend why they removed it, and they (justifiably) responded indignantly with "Well I'm sorry! I didn't know that it was a load bearing water pump!". "Load bearing water pump" ended up becoming a recurring joke in my friend group, persisting long after we finished playing Eco. The situation really captures the absurd inevitability of this kind of change
This is great. And an excellent lesson as to why you comment your hacks!
I like that metaphor. I'm gonna use it next time I have to talk to a non-technical.
He was okay when I explained that the custom Magento plugin was written in Bulgarian and I had to translate it before attempting to understand the convoluted mess I’d been given.
Should take you an hour of just testing.