this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
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Thanksgiving with this guy must be brutal.
Though it's a neat party trick to watch him unhinge his jaw and eat the turkey whole (deep fried, of course).
"I dunno, pigs tend to chew their food. I'd say he eats more like a duck."
"Did you just ask for a bit of breast?" he said in an overly aggressive tone. After a moment's pause where he angrily grimaces at you and points his finger in your direction, "You can't call it that these days, you don't know if it was a girl turkey or not.", followed by a psycho, aggressive chuckle that let's you know he's being perfectly serious but also if you take it seriously, he can pretend that he was just joking and can't you take that joke?
Then he follows up with his pièce de résistance -- "Those faggy libs and their pronouns. Let me tell you, there are only 2 pronouns, male and female."
An audible sigh echos from the other end of the table, but otherwise the rest of the group are having their own conversation and paying him no mind.