Is it as many people describe? Do you have an easy or difficult time with it?
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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Not real great. I've always taken the advice to "just treat women like people," and have had a lot of great friendships with women as a result. Then, for a few months some years ago, I decided to follow the "just be confident" advice, and forced myself to behave in ways that felt to me very transgressive and boundary-breaking. It worked stunningly well, but I just can't keep it up. That's not my personality, or my romantic style. I need some indication that a woman is interested in me, and pushing past her initial resistance makes me feel queasy. But, I'm not attractive enough to get those kinds of signals often, so, the single life it is.
Have you tried doing he same thing but with some very tactfully avoided eye contract? Works very well to look for a little signal that might not happen if she doesn't notice you. If she ignores it a little longer than just at first, she is not interested. If you give it a few rounds of carefully looking and playing shy when she notices, she might start joining in the dance so to speak. That's your signal that there might be some interest possible. I like to go up in a situation that does not pressure her or put her too much on the spot and just hand her mym number to contact me if she would like to chat.
Sometimes they write, sometimes they don't. :) but it's the much less boundary pushing way to measure interest before engaging and without making anybody uncomfortable. And yes, women are friends, not food.