this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
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Think of the metrics! distribution by hour, day of week, month, times per day/ week/ month, holidays, workday, weekends, etc etc.
The app:
[Stonks! meme but it reads Spunks! instead]
Edit:
Think of the leaderboards!
This male loneliness epidemic could get very competitive. Doctors around the country reporting genital friction burn with patients saying they’re shooting for the moon in the Competitive Coomers Leagues.
The top 3 or 4 people would obviously be hackers with their score being 32 hours in a single day.
The trick is to log all your activities separately. One 8-hour session can net you 8 hours of wank, 8 of nipple play, and 8 of anal play. I learned that trick from a consultant in '98, but he just did it with customer hours.