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Here is the list of defederated instances when a fresh install happens. This is editable in the admin UI after installation is complete. So, if you really want your instance to federate with the good folks of cum.salon, you are more than welcome to.
This is really just intended to provide what we think of as a good set of defaults for a typical user. Of course this is somewhat opinionated, just like something like an operating system has a set of opinionated defaults for stuff like default programs, window styling, etc.
I think the biggest thing is just including one of the oldest and most active instances in there. Hexbear (or Lemmygrad) is not everyone's cup of tea but a default block, or even to lump them in with an instance like the one you mentioned is kinda crazy. Some of the other bigger instances out there federate with one or both just fine.
I mean, the same is true for other PieFed instances. piefed.zip, for example, is federated with both (same admin team as lemmy.zip).
Like I said, this is inherently opinionated as any kind of defaults would be (themes, colors, user settings, etc.). I just don't agree that just because an instance is old and active means that it is a positive influence on or provides a positive experience for the average user. Just like I don't think forums like 4chan should be looked at positively just due to its age and activity. I know there are many that disagree with this, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Specifically, the piefed.social instance is a bit more opinionated than most other instances out there because rimu has pretty strong feelings about social media. Some of my contributions to the code have been to make PieFed less opinionated or to take some of those very strongly opinionated options/filters and make them configurable or optional at an admin level. So far, rimu has been pretty receptive to this kind of contribution.
At the end of the day, I am glad that all three threadiverse software platforms exist (people too often forget about mbin) and have been able to maintain a cordial working relationship. They each have different opinions, defaults, and features that might appeal to some users over others.
It’s also one of the most defederated instances around. People don’t want to interact with they site for a damn good reason.
Clearly it's polarizing. Clearly anyone spinning up a new instance certainly would know what site of that fence they fall on.
They can remove it then.
It’s not polarising, it’s the norm.
The majority of all instances defederate with them.
Uh, out of the top 10 instances by monthly active users (https://fedidb.com/servers) it looks like ~~5 federate with them and 5 don't.~~
Edit: I was mistaken, it was 4 do and 6 don't. But still, clearly not universal and tons of people are able to coexist just fine with them.
2 of those 4 are the other triad members, with lemmygrad being even more blocked than Hexbear.
Huh?
lemmy.ml lemmy.zip lemmy.dbzer0.com discuss.tchncs.de
I suppose you're talking about .ml but that's only 1 of 4.
Huh, my bad. For some reason it showed grad before for me. I must've done something on my end.
lemmy.zip if I recall has a sort of soft-block in that new users are warned about those instances and offered to block them. I was told about 50% of lemmy.zip users block them.
I can find the conversation with an instance admin if you like but yes, it reportedly automatically blocks those for users and provides instructions for how to remove them, making seeing their content as opt-in rather than having to be opt-out, and thus the PieFed.zip instance is truly Newbie-friendly.