Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
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No.
All of the “rules” you’re describing are effectively just gaslighting people who have been bullied into thinking they asked for it. It takes so little effort not to be a dick to people. It’s like the lowest effort thing I can think of.
Asking questions is fine; asking without doing prior research is fine too. Online bullies want others to think you need to have a PhD thesis on the topic before you’re allowed to ask a question and that mindset is ridiculous.
Ask your questions @alina@lemmy.world, don’t apologize for it, and just ignore the assholes. It’s totally fine to look for a human connection first, you don’t need that doctorate beforehand.
I will say that getting a question ignored when asked in a manner that is contrary to the rules of that community is normal. People not reading the rules and guidelines and asking inappropriately is very common and results in a lot of burnout.
But you are correct - it takes little effort to not be an asshole, and in those situations one should just move on and let the powers that be clean it up.
Thank you🥺
I don't think it is about needing a doctorate beforehand and I find your characterization of @it_depends_man@lemmy.world's advice on social etiquette weirdly non-sequitur and white knighty. Would you walk into a religious place of worship, a strip club, a gun range, or Costco without at least knowing how to interact with that space? Wearing your magic underwear? Bring enough fives? Ear protection? Membership card?
The point being virtual spaces are weird and full of weird people that live in their head. And they make communities that have implicit and explicit rules like all communities. And if you're wading neck deep into a pool of internet weirdos (their pool, mind you, you're the outsider traipsing in wanting their knowledge and wisdom) and want your question answered, the lurk and learn advice from above is solid.
Does it suck? Maybe? I can see it from the community's perspective where they set the barrier to entry.
I wouldn’t walk into a strip club period, but for all of your other examples I would absolutely go to those places to figure out how to interact with them. Frankly, I do not understand why you wouldn’t. Who is more qualified to explain to you how to interact with them than the people you want to interact with?
You’re accusing me of “white knighting” (hello, painfully 2010s virtue signaling catch phrase) for saying that people shouldn’t be shitty to each other. I’ll counter by accusing you of enabling that negative behavior by making excuses for it.
No one's entitled to an answer & certainly not a polite one if they fail to show consideration for others by putting sensible effort themselves. That's not called a doctorate, that's called trying.
Contrary to your opinion, those "assholes" may be doing OP a favor by pointing out the question is deficient. Most volunteers respond to an ineptly posed question by ignoring it. This is rational: which question would you rather answer?
Getting questions answered sooner by reducing the effort & pain to answer them is in everyone's interest.
Learning how to learn & ask questions well are indispensable skills. If you want to keep asking questions unintelligently, though, then you can expect to wear out the patience & good will of the volunteers answering them. Just as you are free to not try, everyone else is free & entitled to go full asshole on that bullshit.
“Being mean to people is a good thing because it teaches them to [something]” is an indefensible sentiment.
Yes, nobody is entitled to your answer to a question and you’re fine to just not answer any question you don’t want to. Being a dick about it, though, is actively harmful to both the person you’re being a dick to, and the community you’re participating in.
It’s interesting that people defending being a dickhead so frequently fall back to accusations about intelligence. E.g.:
For a group of people so very concerned with intelligence, I wonder if anyone has taken the time to explain to you the concept of emotional intelligence.