askchapo

Disability that's reinforced by societal failings suck. I am disabled and I understand my own case of this. And my body is still mine as long as I'm alive. I will do my best to see it in the light of self compassion and see it's still beautiful after everything. My body endlessly does me noble deeds in that, regardless of all harm I've suffered, it lends me life and keeps me alive. When I show myself off, I'm displaying that this is what resilience looks like. And I can be increasingly grateful for my resilience and happier about my image. I'm starting to think, "I suffer so much, who in my position has time for feeling shame about the thing in this universe that's done me the most favors?"

I remember a woman, who survived being a comfort woman at the hands of Japanese soldiers who'd invaded China, expressed that life is so beautiful that if she could only subsist on wild herbs to see it, she would. This helped me with SI from my trauma and disability, and helped me value my body more.

It's okay if you don't feel this is true for you. There are aspects of each emotional moment you can be introspective about, and you've clearly been very materialistic about what causes your despair. I just hope you're proud of your resilience and are not ashamed if you ever want to show it off body-wise. Because the onus of the bodily damage you suffer is on mass societal failure, not you. While not everyone wants to show off their forms of scars along with the rest of their body, I try to choose visibility.

Maybe for you right now, the point is not to see that your body is a deeply magical thing, but I think its good to return to that understanding when you feel slightly better in little moments.