Ask Lemmy

My family is from mainland China. (We have since emigrated)

Idk if there are even like actual names for generations.

But anyways:

My parents, and especially my maternal grandmother, keeps telling about "how much they had to suffer" during their time and told me to "be grateful" and stop being picky with food, because they didn't even have much options of food in their time. Of course me being a kid at the time is still very picky with food, which I guess must've annoyed my parents a lot.

So like... just the attitude with food, frugality. It's very different.

My mom became a hoarder.

There's a full basement of stuff...

Pretty sure its a fire hazard since the backdoor is blocked.

My mom calls me and my brother "lazy" because she said when she was a kid, she had to help her mother (aka: my maternal grandmother) with work. Like with chores and sometimes the farm stuff.

Oop, sorry mom, I'm "lazy" 🥺👉👈 (probably because of dad's half of the "laziness gene" xD, or at least we joked about that a lot)

I feel like every adult is like: "Do you have kids?" "How old are they?" "College?" "Married yet?" etc...

Like that's every phone call ever (I overheard a lot of phone calls in the livingroom xD).

And when I was a kid, since I can't just be an unaccopanied minor at home, I'd be with my mom like everywhere. Literally every conversation involved talking about kids and education and marriage lol.

Sometimes I'd hear my parents talking about me over the phone.. like... its so weird to overhear that.

Like my mom would say some positive things about me, and like hearing it from the PoV when I'm not part of the conversation feels so surreal. Like I get described both positibely and negatively.

"My kids are so big now, but the bigger they get the more 'rebellious' they get" (okay, mom, do you want me to be a kid forever? lmfao)

And sometimes I get teased like, sometimes like irl in person in front of her friends and mom be like: "Oh these little shits, these are my children, they never listen to me" (like.. as in playful teasing)

Like there's just an obsession with family and passing on the bloodline.

Basically I'd describe it like this:

Qing Era: Before 1911-1912 Xinhai Revolution -- pretty sure everyone from this era is dead

Warlord Era / Civil War Era: 1912-1937(?) -- not sure if I know anyone actually from this era

Resistance against Japanese Imperialism Generation: 1937-1945 -- I think my paternal grandparents were from this era, I was told my paternal grandpa had to flee from the Japanese as a kid. I think people from this era are just very Anti-Japan, which is understandable given the trauma.

Mao Generation: 1945/1949 - 1976 -- I know my maternal grandmother was born during the 1945-1949 Civil War. Famines were common. Not much choice of food. I'm glad I wasn't born during that era lol.

My parents were born during 1960s to 1970s.

Around the time of "Cutural Revolution" and struggle sessions...

My mom is really afraid of criticizing the government and have repeatedly told me to shut up about politics... 🫤

Cuz there's randomly be people taken and accused of being "counter-revolutionary"

Deng Generation: 1976 - 1990s/2000(? idk where to cut it off) -- Reforms, Opening up the country, more internationalization. Stuff starts to get better.

Modern Generation: 1990s/2000 - Now(?) -- ME! Here I am! 😃

Idk how to describe it but: we had TVs. Cell phones. Cassettes. A second-hand computer with Windows XP/Vista??? (no internet btw, not for us anyways), Yugioh or some card game thing? And a bunch of domestic-only board games.

We had: Mcdonalds. Pizza Hut. KFC.

Most people didn't have siblings, but my mom decided to violate the one child policy lol

So yay congrats to my older brother who now have an annoying lil bro to fight with (and abuse).

So... TLDR is... I guess this:

Its kinda reversed from Americans glorifying the past. The past was terrible from my parent's PoV. There was no such thing as "good ol' days".