this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 51 points 4 days ago (8 children)

Enshittification has reached all processed food. Take Totinos pizza rolls, they don't even use real cheese anymore, they use "Imitation Mozzarella Cheese". The knockoffs aren't any better, the Walmart Great Value brand pulls the same crap. Only the Aldi version (Mama Cozzi) uses actual cheese.

Gets off soapbox

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Domino's pizza uses "cheese made with 100% mozzarella cheese"

[–] frongt@lemmy.zip 47 points 4 days ago

For those playing at home, "made with" doesn't have an FDA definition, so it only means there was a nonzero presence of mozzarella cheese in the manufacturing process. Basically, homeopathic cheese.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

But that's the great thing about capitalism, it gives you so much choice. You can buy the pizza rolls with imitation cheese in the red packaging, or the blue one, or even yellow!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Yeah, that's how it works today, but not how it used to be. We keep forgetting the option to not buy crap, which is how this house operates.

So weird hearing all the bitching about capitalism when we collectively buy garbage. Yes, we're screwed in many unavoidable ways, but our consumption is 98% controllable.

Reminds me of my crack whore (most literally) neighbor back in the day. She was making fun of me for buying decent toilet paper when she got the single-ply shit for cheap. "Yeah, but you're using twice as much for more money." "Sucker!"

My wife and I buy almost nothing new and shop Aldi for food. I can walk out of Aldi with almost twice the food as the most expensive grocery 1-mile down the road. Guess which store is swamped with customers and which is nearly empty. For context, this is a redneck suburb of a poor American city.

[–] CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Or you can pick up the one made that day in house and packaged up fresh. Or even but the raw ingredients it you are feeling brave.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I thought the fediverse doesn't have ads?

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Pointing out which brands don't fool the consumer is an ad? The bar seems really low nowadays.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Which brings us to today's sponsor, Real fuckin cheese.

Gone are the days of real cheese on shitty pizzas, years of budget cuts and shortcuts lead the food industry into selling us imitation cheese that's essentially dried glue!

But now Real Fuckin Cheese presents, some real fucking cheese!

Our cheese is made from real fucking milk, milked from real fucking cows, on a real fucking farm by a real fucking farmer!

We then age our cheese the old way like real fucking cheese is supposed to, just so you can get that real fucking cheese experience.

Real fucking cheese, when you're sick of fake ass cheese.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago

I thought the fediverse doesn’t have ads?

If you're asking whether you thought that, we can't answer for sure.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

So is it an ad for Totinos or Aldi?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Which one do you want to buy?

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Aldis. The store name wasn't required to call out a brand that allegedly uses real cheese.

[–] Kernal64@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

It is if you're talking about a store brand, which the op was.

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

Who told you that?

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

They are allowed to. Not here. Named cheese, must contain cheese. Named sausage, looks like sausage, must be sausage. Stuff like that.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago (3 children)

To be fair the McRib was shit from the beginning. I still crave one every few years.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's available year round in Germany. For whatever reason.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

For whatever reason, I am disappointed in my German friends. Don't know anything about German food, but I expected better of you. I am disappoint.

Meh, at least we don't fall into a feeding frenzy when they reappear seldomly.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I've never had one, but I assume it tastes like the 90's elementary school "rib" sandwich from the cafeteria. Maybe worse.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 days ago

I had one, or more accurately one bite. The best way to describe it is boiled meat coated in a sugar sauce. Fucking disgusting.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I can't compare, I never had yours. It's minced pork, a very strange BBQ sauce it's been heated in, some pickles and raw onions. The sauce is mainly acidic/sweet IIRC and the onions only provide texture. It's very strange, but somehow it scratches an itch. I haven't had one in years, but maybe I'll get one later and update the description.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That description is pretty accurate, you're just missing the weird melty texture of the not-quite-meat.

Yeah. If only I could explain why I enjoy it sometimes.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but the animal they originally made it from went extinct.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Damn, I had some random off brand pizza rolls I bought a few months back. Just checked the label. Sure enough. Imitation cheese. Guess I need to start checking that before I buy them in the future.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I bought some pizza rolls a couple years ago for nostalgia. They didn't taste anything like I remembered.

Did they change more than the cheese since the 80s and 90s?

[–] WalleyeWarrior@midwest.social 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Keep in mind you also aren't a child/teenager anymore. I used to love Doritos and mountain dew 15 years ago, but I never touch either anymore.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 1 points 3 days ago

Yeah, but they taste the same. At least the Doritos do last time Ibjad any.

[–] CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Always has been. People like buying shit vs actual good food 🤷‍♂️.