this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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I've always felt that incels and their world view is simply natural teenage male angst that occurs before a teenage male is able to develop self reflection and consideration for others' as people.
The difference is, if things go right, these teenagers mature, understand the world lives and exists outside of themselves, and comes to peace with failure in relationship attempts.
Incels, however, remain in this narcissistic, self absorbed entitlement and never graduate from that low level of cognitive ability. I feel their cognitive growth is stumped hard by depression, loneliness, and most importantly malicious and manipulative actors preying on these teens to control and scam them, like Andrew Tate, Trump, Jordon Peterson, Steven Crowder, Steve Bannon, Charlie "Red Gushers" Kirk, etc.
regular reminder that up to 1.7% of the population is intersex, and grouping people into "male" and "female" to explain societal stuff is very unhelpful.
I wouldn't consider it natural at all. It's often a direct result of pushing a problematic image of what "real men" are like onto young men. The type of men that incels look up to embody a version of masculinity that is increasingly repellent to women and doesn't offer as much to society. We don't need rough, tough coal miners and manufacturers because those jobs are being automated away, we need service and healthcare workers with empathy and other qualities that people have arbitrarily decided aren't masculine. Women are filling those jobs because they're good at them and men aren't nearly as likely to seek them out. And women having the means to provide for themselves means they can choose partners that actually respect them rather than having to settle for a "provider" whose only quality is financial contributions.
So young men internalize a version of masculinity that women don't want or need and society rewards less and less, leading to them being isolated and feel they have less value. Young men + isolation + low self worth is the ultimate recipe for getting roped up into extremist views, hence why there's so much overlap between incels and right wing extremist groups.
I think a lot of people do manage to recognize that their understanding of masculinity is flawed and do the work to figure out a healthier way to interpret their role in life/society, but the whole problem could be avoided entirely if they had a healthier view of masculinity from the get-go. I definitely don't think it's a problem that's naturally occurring in men and could theoretically be improved on a large scale, but I dunno how we right the ship.
You want a counterpoint that always gets hate?
People need to learn to roll their eyes and let boys be boys TO A HEALTHY DEGREE (thats in bold for a reason) Teenage boys are constantly hearing "Violent movies arent good, violent videogames arent good, the way you interact with your friends is toxic, fast cars and loud motorbikes are for people with small dicks, contact sports are for meatheads, combat sports are downright evil, MASCULINITY IS TOXIC!!!"
You know who isnt telling them that everything they like, everything that gets their blood pumping and everything they identify as something important about them is somehow "wrong" Andrew Fucking Tate and everyone like him.
... who's saying contact/combat sports are bad?
If I met a guy who plays sports I'd be thrilled. They're a great way to stay healthy and socialize. (Except golf - fuck golf)
It probably doesn't help that sex and being in a heteronormal relationship is seen as cool and, by extension, not having those makes you seem like a loser. It'd probably be better if those things were seen as a nice-to-have on an individual basis rather than a societal expectation.
That will never happen, before incel became the favorite insult online, virgin was that word.