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No. Thinking about it terrifies me. I can't comprehend nonexistence, and trying to make sense of it ties me in knots.
You can't comprehend nonexistence because it –the thing you are trying to give a name/noun/meaning to– doesn't exist. "It" has no location, no form, no thought, just complete absence.
However, it is by way of this absence that everything comes into being, as nonexistence implies existence. So, we come from nothing, we go back to nothing... forever. Ouroboros.
Literally same. Luckily I had managed to avoid thinking of it beyond my teen years for a good decade. But it has come back worse than ever when I recently started listening to a podcast about some philosophy.
It's fucking terrifying and depressing. Anyone who doesn't believe in an afterlife but says it's not terrifying and depressing is taking mega levels of copium.
At one point recently I remember I was walking around in public doing a bit of people watching and I was like holy fucking shit everyone is just walking around like this is nothing. Everyone is gonna die but we have all this random bullshit everyone is doing not realizing it's gonna end. Idk.
I don't believe in an afterlife and I'm not afraid of dying. No copium. My death will be a much bigger problem for those around me than it is for me. My problems will be over.
Now, I have kids and a wife and here and now my death would leave them in a bad situation, and I don't want that. There are lots of things I'm looking forward to, but if I don't get them... that's just life. There are no guarantees and I don't expect any.
I just don't want anything lingering or debilitating where I'm a drain on my loved ones. As lonely and horrible as it would be, I would want them to move on and let me go and not take drastic action to spend all their time focused on me.
When I was young I was terrified of dying. Now I've accomplished everything that really mattered to me. That's the big difference to me. I'm satisfied with my life and now I just need to do as much as I can for my family and myself with whatever time I have left.