this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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I am in my fifties and a significant number of my friends and family opted to not have children. The children conversation use to come up a lot, mainly because parents refuse to believe that other actually do not want to become parents. Almost without exception, the reason those friends and family members opted to not have kids was because they did not want to. Only one person has ever given a nihilistic reason like "I don't want to bring a child into this fucked up world". Almost every said that they just did not want kids. Simple as that.
I hear this most often from people who do have kids.
At least I have a selfless reason.
Along with "I just fucking can't keep one alive"
Fair enough, but I think many also regret it. So it’s not an unfounded question to ask someone
There have been a number of quantitative studies done on this topic, your perception is irrelevant unless you’re an epidemiological researcher on this. I was going to link some, but there are SO many. Just spend like 10 seconds searching the academic papers.
Many also regret having kids. Are you going to rub that in their faces as well?
By your logic, that means it is coded into us not to have kids. All kids just happen by accident when the parents just want to fuck. Which is how it happened thousands of years before we knew how it worked.
If they don't regret not having kids, your question is annoying and has been asked and answered countless times, to the point that you could easily find the answer online. If they DO regret not having kids, all you're doing is rubbing salt in a wound.
It's an obnoxious question. Stop asking.
I’m not going around and asking random people if that’s what you think. But like if you are close with someone I guess it’s a reasonable question in certain situations
I've chosen not to have kids because I really don't like children. If a family member or friend kept pestering me with "You may regret it" I would absolutely cut all contact. All you're doing is saying you don't think I'm able to decide how to live my life, because my needs and wants are different from yours.
What makes you think people don't already know there's a chance they'll regret it? Why do you think so little about their intelligence? Don't you think there's a bigger chance they'll regret having children, if their starting point is not wanting them?
Seems like a massive overreaction
No, someone questioning my ability to consider consequenses because I don't want to live like them is fucking self centered.
Sounds like you’re pretty self centred
No, it isn't. All it does is drive a wedge between our closeness.
What makes you think that?