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(cant find the aita community) am i a bad person for saying "women" instead of "people who can get pregnant"? (piefed.social)

submitted 1 day ago by therealverobiscuit@piefed.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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hi, so i recently discovered im more left wing (democratic) than right wing (republican), but im still not the most politically correct. earlier today we were discussing abortion and i said i felt bad for the women who the anti abortion people affect, but my friend corrected me and said i meant "people who get pregnant", because men (like trans men but still men) can get pregnant. and not all women get pregnant so it doesnt affect them. she said it gently but i feel like an ass</3

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[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I really love this reply and especially how it promotes genuine decency rather than coerced decency. I know I'm not exactly adding to the discussion, but I really wanted to recognize how warm this reply felt to me with something more than a mere upvote.

[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 5 points 15 hours ago

Thank you for this I do try my best to be warm!

I have heard some folk fearmonger non-binary inclusion as some sort of theoretical pronoun police with some wild idea of disciplinary power. I know a lot of non-binary folk since we are pretty decent at identifying each other in the wild... and most of us don't even introduce ourselves with our preferred pronouns if folk don't make the space at a place we know we're likely good because it's still kind of awkward!

We know we're asking for a mental effort in helping us out so when it happens and people want to give us a boost it's so magic. The amount of energy we reclaim by not having our bodies reflected back at us through words is noticeable and so appreciated. With any group of folks with needs self advocating all the time really isn't tenable. We oftentimes just want to pick the path of least resistance even if it means putting up with stuff that's bad for us.

When people misgender someone by accident or say something in the moment that upon reflection wasn't great they often are far too hard on themselves. Yeah it doesn't feel great but you gotta step on some feet before you can dance and we're just happy you're dancing!