Asklemmy

51865 readers

569 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

(cant find the aita community) am i a bad person for saying "women" instead of "people who can get pregnant"? (piefed.social)

submitted 16 hours ago by therealverobiscuit@piefed.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

30 comments fedilink hide all child comments

hi, so i recently discovered im more left wing (democratic) than right wing (republican), but im still not the most politically correct. earlier today we were discussing abortion and i said i felt bad for the women who the anti abortion people affect, but my friend corrected me and said i meant "people who get pregnant", because men (like trans men but still men) can get pregnant. and not all women get pregnant so it doesnt affect them. she said it gently but i feel like an ass</3

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 52 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Hey, trans masc here,

Love the sentiment but don't feel like an ass. If you want to include us in the sentiment it does some great stuff! It signals to trans and non-binary people who might be in listening range but be closeted or suppressing their needs in the interest of "not making waves" that you are a safe person to be themselves around. A lot of people who "don't know a non binary person" might not simply because the ones around them are in hiding because onboarding someone to our status is exhausting and sometimes risky so signaling that you've already done some the work is AMAZING.

But that being said... Don't feel guilty. This isn't a game of right and wrong. "Political Correctness" is a tactic from the 90's that really didn't work because it was about policing. It was a cold politeness rather than a meaningful offering of solidarity or a chance to learn and there is a learning curve to allyship and thus a gratitude just for trying or considering a change. That you feel guilty is very sweet but you deserve to be comfortable and happy too. We as a community tend to celebrate people doing us a kindness, not begrudge people. Your friend showed you a spot where you could insert a moment of solidarity in the future if you wanted. That you immediately seem to want to is a rarer gift than you know.

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 hours ago

I really love this reply and especially how it promotes genuine decency rather than coerced decency. I know I'm not exactly adding to the discussion, but I really wanted to recognize how warm this reply felt to me with something more than a mere upvote.