this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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It kind of blows my mind how people meet partners on dating apps. What do you mean you go from complete strangers, to selling yourself to each other from photos and prompts, to lovers? I guess it's kind of like approaching someone at a bar more or less, but a 2D version and no alcohol.
People in my life keep telling me to download the apps, giving me the line, "They're good for neurodivergent people."
AhhHhhhhHhhhhh! Excuse me?!
Fuck the apps. Admittedly that's from a male perspective. Real life works best for me because I don't waste my time with people that don't have the right vibe.
Plus, the apps thing is so impersonal. Half the fun of meeting someone is that first convo in person. Sometimes it's easier to get a clear picture of someone when they don't have unlimited time to formulate a response lol
I've known my new gf of a few months for 27 years. All of my exs I was friends with to some extent before we had a go at it.
Wow, how did that happen?
The new gf, bumped into each other at a wake, drank, cuddled.
The exs, we liked the same stuff and had been hanging out doing that stuff for a while so had plenty of time to get to know each other without the "dating" hurdles.
Cool! The meeting at a wake part though, but it had to happen somehow
"So what did youse guys do?"
Mmm. I don’t think they are good for neurodivergent people. From what I can see there’s lots of flaky, confusing, and even bad behaviour on the apps.
Everywhere really, but especially with the expectation for a fast pace which could lead to entangling with someone you don’t know very well. It probably is safer to get to know people first.
NSFW
Also a lot of people on apps may be specifically looking for casual sex or situationships while not being honest and upfront about it.Yapping about pressure
The people in your life mean well and may want you settled down, but consider for yourself whether that’s something you want or are ready to pursue at this point. Whether it feels good for you or leaves a feeling of doubt in your stomach.
There’s this rush to try and find a partner in your twenties and it can be very lonely or even excluded if you’re not dating. The subtle icing out of single women and the social pressure to partner up is real, and it’s easy to feel lost or behind.
But you don’t have to move that fast. And there are people out there that can really derail your progress in life. Maybe you might want to take some time for yourself, build up your career and emergency savings, and maybe find some trustworthy girlfriends to have your back if possible. This world can be brutal for neurodivergent women.
Just my 2 cents. Because you mention people actively trying to set you up and urging you to use apps and I wanted to say you don’t have to do anything you’re not 100% on board with. There’s no rush. 🖤
yes! thank you! I think they meant it in the sense that online communication can be easier for ND folk, but you eventually have to meet in person and also what you said about not being able to see red flags. I was definitely in that spot talking to people online as a youngin and that wasn't even through dating apps!
society is excellent at putting this pressure, especially coming from a family being one of the younger cousins, with all the others having felt that "pressure" to "find someone". I think people comment about things like this because they were once insecure about it! I 100% want to meet new people, but not in a dating context. I'm doing that anyway just by interacting with people in various settings :)