Mental health
I keep waking up with this awful feeling of dread and abandonment. Skin burning and anxiety coming out of my pores. Have to just lie there until it dissipates enough to let me move. But I can’t process anything while it’s not safe to. Not here.
I just want to move out of this place and have the inevitable breakdown. This isn’t living.
Trying not to lose all my friends with my bullshit 🖤
Got antibiotics and just as well because my finger is swelling up.
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Saw some pet things I’d been looking for in pink. I only find those items now. And fully expected to see her when I got home 💔
Every night I wake up into this awful sickening void. Melbcatless. I loved her. Unsure if I’m giving myself a break to heal or self isolating.
The trigger of the spray cleaner bottle wasn’t springing back after being depressed so I got in the habit of pushing it forward with my ring finger to keep on spraying… doing that repetitively scraped some skin off my finger and that’s now trying to get infected. I’ve attended to it better and it’s starting to improve but I’m watching.
Haven’t seen the furry shadow around. It’s a mix of relief and guilt.
I’ve sent a get well package to someone, I forgot if they’re a tea person 😵💫
You’re right, I’m not really the huggy type. But I appreciate this
Fingers crossed for Miss Meow. 🤞
Melbcat had the same thing and still had issues on prescription food so if Miss Meow doesn’t settle or like it don’t be afraid to go onto the single protein grain free stuff.
If you wanted recs
For dry food, Meals For Meows had a recall but their Mackerel and Salmon was the go to. I went to Taste Of The Wild in Canyon River/trout and smoked salmon but if you can’t get it MfM is probably ok now. These ones are around the bottom of that category’s price bracket. Pricey but still probably cheaper than prescription and better quality.
Wet food was homebrand Colesworth in tuna mince, then Weruva in Steak Frites or Lamburgini. The fish flavours of Dine Desire or Fancy Feast Royale are not nutritionally complete but were tolerated as well.
I use BioBlitz to clean anything biological and a cheap black light torch helps find sneaky pukes.
Thanks. I just don’t trust these leaders not to screw us
He’s always got water, I went out for bins and made sure the gravity dispenser was refilled. And unfortunately I think he’s a good hunter :(
I’m just trying not to get too attached to him because my goal would have to be making him an inside cat, and even if I could handle the extended strain of quarantine ringworm treatment… He showed me he would not accept that life.
Taking care of him ‘casually’ as an outside cat is quite challenging as well.
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Even just feeding him means him coming and rubbing up on you with the ringworm, which requires a makeshift gown up before and full body antifungal scrub after. And you have to meet him directly with the food whenever he randomly shows up, which could be suddenly any time, because if food is left out other animals get it within a minute. Not kidding. The birds pick it clean in the day and a fox eats it at night.
Dropping the food and going back inside wouldn’t work as he seems more interested in affection and will eagerly run up on you.
Maybe at some point I might be more able to engage but right now I’ve kind of shrunk in on myself and am not really functioning. It also feels like a betrayal of Melbcat. I’m feeling terrible like I’ve dumped him but trying to just give myself a break during this time.
It’s all good, I’m sorry I said that. I shouldn’t have.
I’m a little off kilter right now and also remembering covid times.
Still the repercussions will affect Australia.
I’m not able to be flexible around food and fluids at all and can’t regulate my own body temperature well. And my immune system sucks.
So if priced out or cut off from energy for heating or cooling, all the soap got bought, can’t get the few things I can eat, shortage of antibiotics or iv fluids… I’m gonna have a bad time.
I know his handlers will just fill the eventual vacuum but I hope the orange one’s wipeout is legendary.
I don’t want to go through all this shit. Technically I have or am capable of learning basic prepping skills if it comes to it but realistically I’m not physically resilient and wouldn’t survive harsh times.
I’m very tired and if things go sideways I’m kind of hoping something just kills me.
Mental health
Yesterday was not a good day. Today isn’t either.Cleaning
I’ve found a very cheap secondhand Woods lamp online and am having it delivered to a friend so it doesn’t get stolen.
Stubborn patches of vom are still glowing under the torch after being cleaned twice so I’ve applied the cleaner again. Maybe it’s because I rubbed excess off afterwards due to worrying about overwetting the carpet. It’s now been applied heavily and left to soak.
But am wondering if it might be better to switch products. The pet shop ones are so powerfully overscented though. A very popular brand gave Melbcat asthma attacks and me headaches/migraines.
Chip scanners
I’ve now found $20 and $30 microchip scanners online but don’t know how reliable they are. Or how reliable Sir Gadabout is either. Haven’t seen him.
Maybe I should leave it be. I just want to know if he’s chipped.