I really hope so. Unfortunately I think when all the work is done I’ll just collapse into deep depression or incapacitated anxiety
melbaboutown
I sent another care package to my friend. They have atypical pneumonia, I haven’t been able to see them and I’m a bit worried.
Sorting Melbcat’s stuff
I’ve returned Melbcat’s unused meds to the vet because someone else can use them. There was an entire box of medication in there that hadn’t been opened yet and the vet specifically asked for the return of the second bag of fluids if they didn’t get used. (There may be a shortage.) I’m still deciding whether to wash and donate the Aerokat.
Still feeling absolutely shattered about losing her and am sleeping holding her urn at night the same way I used to hold her. It was so sudden which makes it really hard to accept. She was such a part of my life.
Black cat has returned
The black cat is back and was sulky about my disappearance. I caved and started patting him again so I’m back on the disinfection treadmill and fretting how to deal with it. Also finding dead birds which I hope was the heat spell and not him… one was a magpie and I hear a kookaburra I don’t want to get eaten. All of this would be so much easier if this cat didn’t have ringworm.
There is one neighbour I might talk to about if anyone owns him. I did give the vet a found poster and am waiting on a cheapie chip scanner to see if he even has a microchip so it would be safer to take him to the vet. If he does have a chip and an owner I could possibly abduct him into the vet for their collection.
Life is so fucking hard. I’m desperately trying to fix something in my godforsaken life and unshittify my surroundings by a tiny amount but everything feels so painful and pointless.
Thank you
Thank you
Thankyou. I don’t really know what would help but I appreciate it
I appreciate it
I’m having a really hard time.
Mental health
Yesterday was not a good day. Today isn’t either.
Cleaning
I’ve found a very cheap secondhand Woods lamp online and am having it delivered to a friend so it doesn’t get stolen.
Stubborn patches of vom are still glowing under the torch after being cleaned twice so I’ve applied the cleaner again. Maybe it’s because I rubbed excess off afterwards due to worrying about overwetting the carpet. It’s now been applied heavily and left to soak.
But am wondering if it might be better to switch products. The pet shop ones are so powerfully overscented though. A very popular brand gave Melbcat asthma attacks and me headaches/migraines.
Chip scanners
I’ve now found $20 and $30 microchip scanners online but don’t know how reliable they are. Or how reliable Sir Gadabout is either. Haven’t seen him.
Maybe I should leave it be. I just want to know if he’s chipped.
Mental health
I keep waking up with this awful feeling of dread and abandonment. Skin burning and anxiety coming out of my pores. Have to just lie there until it dissipates enough to let me move. But I can’t process anything while it’s not safe to. Not here.
I just want to move out of this place and have the inevitable breakdown. This isn’t living.
Trying not to lose all my friends with my bullshit 🖤
I’m just overfunctioning trying to claw some control back and outrun my grief