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The amount of "acceptable" pet hair or dust depends on a lot of factors. If it's rolling balls of cat hair or the dust can be measured in layers thick, then maybe there's something that needs to be changed in cleaning routine. But occasional hair or dust or a knickknack here and there is part of life, especially with animals. And some breeds are far worse than others. Also look at both your air filter schedule, how quick they get dirty, and maybe the air patterns and how to improve them so things don't collect in places.
If you mean family as in visiting, then that's just rude. If you did have an issue with cleanliness and the best they can do is make you feel bad about it instead of offering help or advice then I'd invite them over less or not at all. If it's family that lives there... that's a whole other level of "what are you helping with?"