this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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As is tradition, at around this time of year, we discuss the latest developments in the communist plan to destroy Christmas and everything festive and jolly - including that bastard kulak Santa Claus. Down with holly and myrrh, and up with historical materialism!

This year, I'm highlighting the economic trend of de-Decemberization, as the world struggles to break free from the seasonal hegemony imposed by the North Pole. Some regard it as a rather overhyped phenomenon, stating that the chains of Christmas are too frozen for any country to thaw and break in the current environment. Others are more optimistic, and assert that perhaps an alternative world holiday could be established to outright replace it, or maybe a series of smaller holiday traditions can bring it down like a pack of wolves bringing down a moose.

To return to seriousness, as this year draws to a close, I hope everybody here - yes, also you, the person reading this - has a 2026 that was better than 2025, and that the efforts of the United States and their proxies are foiled at every turn. One day, humans will live in a world free from empires, and it would be nice if as many of us as possible lived to see that world's birth.

At the very least, I'd like to live to see an aircraft carrier sink beneath the waves.


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[–] Doubledee@hexbear.net 49 points 2 days ago (11 children)

Anybody know what to make of these new Trump Class battleships?

I thought the battleship was obsolete as a platform.

[–] MarmiteLover123@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's not actually a battleship, it's a guided missile cruiser with a railgun and some lasers mounted to it so Trump can call it a "battleship", and named after Trump so he can approve it.

My real question is what problem does this solve? If you want a ton of vertical launch cells to attack the land and other surface vessels, we have that already, it's called a guided missile submarine. With the added benefit of it being a submarine and not a vulnerable surface combatant, which needs to defend itself from aerial threats and reserve some of its vertical launch cells for that. If you want a ship that specialises/excels in air and missile defence to protect other surface combatants like carriers, this isn't it as a significant amount of it's vertical launch cells are reserved for nuclear armed cruise missiles and hypersonic weapons. If you want a surface combatant that excels at attacking the land and other surface combatants with a large magazine depth, we have that, it's called the aircraft carrier, it's air wing is it's weapon, which has a much greater magazine depth than some VLS cells. This seems to be a really expensive unneeded project that is going to get funded because it's named after Trump.

It's not going to be a completely terrible or useless ship if built, just unneeded. Building something that specialises almost entirely in air and missile defence to better protect aircraft carriers would be a better use of money. Building more guided missile submarines would be a better use of money. Funding and building the US Navy 6th generation stealth fighter jets would be better. This new ship is basically the Homer car from the Simpsons, just mounting absolutely everything on it.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

My real question is what problem does this solve?

Probably that current programs aren't generating enough shareholder value

[–] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

concept art of the new Trump Class warship. The scene is very chaotic and dramatic, guns are firing, ships are sinking. Notable details include a logo that incorporates the pose donny struck after kinda getting shot in the summer of 2024

Its just concept art and the final product will likely be totally different from this, but it doesnt look all that different from other modern surface ships. More importantly it looks like the box art for a toy warship lmao. They should keep the giant painting of him striking that dumbass pose he did after that guy shot at him.

[–] tocopherol@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago

Odds are it never gets built or sinks during the first test, thia country can't build shit anymore even for the war machine

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 39 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Also you kinda don't name your ships after yourself. Not only it's cringy as fuck but it's also super risky because warships are seen as the ultimate symbol of military might of your country, and when they're sunk (the risk is ALWAYS there, even accidental sinking is possible at all times) it usually means great dishonor. Hitler, for example, forbid the Navy to name ships after him because he knew that if the Royal Navy sunk the battleship "Adolf Hitler" everyone would mock him, and Hitler, like all fascists and nazis, was like super thin skinned. He even changed the name of one of the Navy's "pocket battleships" from "Deutchsland" to "Lützow" because he couldn't have a ship named after his nation sunk by the enemy lmao (and to make things worse the ship was captured, raised and sunk in gunnery trials by the USSR after the war ended)

Trump just wants his name on everything, it's very insufferable. I assume libs must be completely mad at this because they feel this is the kind of shit that "third world dictators" would do. Either way, Trump even sucks at naming things after him. All he does is add some golden plating to a building to call it TRUMP TOWER and that's it. As president he could really cement his legacy well into the future by slapping his horrible name into things his administration would build like bridges, waterways, tunnels, cancer research centers, nuclear power plants, dams and so on. But the US elites don't believe in developing projects like these so Trump wont have his brand-new TRUMP DAM giving a lot of electricity to nearby towns and cities, an actual material improvement for once. No, he wants his stupid ass name in some ass looking warship.

[–] aanes_appreciator@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

i suppose it's a lucky thing the US has no industrial base to build a single one of these things ... how can you have an embarrassing sunken ship if it never floats in the first place?

[–] newacctidk@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago

The Deutchsland change was what came to mind as soon as I read this. Like bro you don't name something that expensive and that vulnerable after the nation or yourself.

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 day ago

Trump naming everything afterhimself doesn't feel like the most confident energy to me, whats the matter donny, worried about something?

I know he's always done this shit tho

[–] TheLastHero@hexbear.net 49 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

“The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me because I’m a very aesthetic person,” Trump said.

Fitted with “guns and missiles a the highest level,” hypersonic weapons, electric rail guns, cruise missiles and the “most sophisticated lasers in the world,” the new battleships will be the largest ever built, Trump said.

They will each weigh between 30,000 and 40,000 tons, he said, and will be built in the United States. “They’ll be very AI controlled,” he said, without explanation.

“We envision that these ships will be the first of a whole new class ships to be produced in the years to come,” he said.

Initially, the Navy will build two of the “Trump class” ships, quickly followed by eight more. Trump said he envisioned 20-25 of the vessels, which he said would become the “flagship of the American Naval fleet.”

sicko-yes waste even more imperial resources on wonderwaffen and vanity

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 27 points 1 day ago

Incredible amounts of graft for two ships that will never be completed, just like the Constellation lol

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 32 points 1 day ago

“The US Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me because I’m a very aesthetic person,” Trump said.

Oh you know he'll make them GOLDEN

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 34 points 1 day ago

I was worried this announcement would be a war declaration but instead it's some vanity project spending precious imperial resources. Lmao

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Battleships are indeed obsolete. Big guns (380mm, 406mm, etc) are good for shore bombardment but are otherwise useless in a naval engagement because missiles can outrange them easily with near perfect accuracy as well. The other big thing battleships have is armor, 350mm+ plating of the highest quality (available) steel means nothing against missiles, and these ships only carry armor around their belt to protect the engine room, the magazines and so on, the rest is usually unarmored.

I don't know what Trump intends to do, old fashioned battleships like the modernized Iowas (which can't be put back into action) or is he calling normal modern missile destroyers a "battleship" for PR reasons?

[–] NinjaGinga@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago (2 children)

timmy-pray Please God, let this happen. I yearn to see the USS Trump sink beneath the waves of the South China Sea

[–] aanes_appreciator@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

monkeys paw curls inb4 it's sunk due to capsizing because the crew all ran to starboard to catch a glimpse of a McDonald's that China built on the strait of Taiwan

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 day ago

Donald Trump artificial memorial reef

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

These seem to be small battleships, like half the weight of the Iowa

[–] Doubledee@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So a jumped up cruiser basically? I'm struggling to imagine the role this would play in a hot war.

[–] someone@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

With any luck, as a coral reef starter kit.

[–] aanes_appreciator@hexbear.net 27 points 2 days ago

Feels like the nomenclature doesnt mean much when "battleships" and "heavy cruisers" were already being blended during WW2. If the ship is big enough you can just call it a battleship even if the weapons and facilities are no different to your frigates now.

[–] Lovely_sombrero@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago

I guess that "the Trump Battleship" is a better name than the previous failed ship, the Dumbwalt Destroyer. (it is not actually caled the DUMBwalt).

[–] OffSeasonPrincess@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Battleship=big and manly, therefore trump likes it

[–] Lovely_sombrero@hexbear.net 25 points 2 days ago

When you think about it, a battleship is just multiple interconnected walls. It is all wall.

[–] jack@hexbear.net 24 points 2 days ago

I thought the battleship was obsolete as a platform.

Hence the name