We are aggressive and combative against racism, ableism, transaphobia or when someone is attacking one of us or our community...that is what gives us the moral high ground.

Those are literally the only things we have got remotely aggressive with on the fediverse so far.

In the early days, this sub was constantly brigaded by chuds, terfs, libs, patsocs, wreckers and branches of leftism that were somehow even more online than us and had an irrational hatred of us for reasons that frankly I never cared enough to bother learning. Like any such place, that means we're used to people coming in "just asking questions" with a bad take, and turning out to be a concern troll rather than someone asking in good faith and open to changing their mind.

This produced a culture of radical, frank struggle sessions, an approach to moderation that the Cheka circa 1919 would think lacks due process (and is good and cool and has made this place possibly the most LGBT friendly place on the net.), and a bad habit of dunking for a laugh. We're not nearly as edgy as a first impression might give, though.

We're hyper aggressive when it comes to certain things like hate.

This is then used by racists and bigots to claim we're aggressive all the time. And because they say it ALL THE TIME it begins to be believed by people, even if that's literally the only context in which they've seen our people get that hostile.