Casual Conversation

1675 readers

63 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

RULES

Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling.
Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible.
Avoid controversial topics (e.g. politics or societal debates).
Stay calm: Don’t post angry or to vent or complain. We are a place where everyone can forget about their everyday or not so everyday worries for a moment. Venting, complaining, or posting from a place of anger or resentment doesn't fit the atmosphere we try to foster at all. Feel free to post those on !goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
Keep it clean and SFW
No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

BoozeOrWater@piefed.social

BoozeOrWater@lemm.ee

Nougat@fedia.io

FireWire400@lemmy.world

m_f@discuss.online

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

m_f@piefed.social

Have any advice on dealing with difficult things? (piefed.social)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by ButteryMonkey@piefed.social to c/casualconversation@piefed.social

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don’t have a lot of people to turn to, never really have.. I’ve been pretty isolated most of my life, so I’ve just sort of muddled through by reading a lot and trying to figure out how to deal with stuff on my own.

But I’m not really sure how to handle this. I’m disabled and have been most of my life, and I haven’t really let it stop me for the most part. It gets in the way, but I brute force my way through. Often to my own detriment.

I guess I’m not doing as well as I thought.. I’m applying for a disability upgrade, and one of the things I can submit is statements in support of my claim, letters from the people around me about how my disability impacts my life, and theirs. If this doesn’t sound like a normal disability process that’s because this is the VA service-connected disability process, rather than a normal one.

Anyway, I asked a couple of my closest friends to write something up about how they have seen the impacts, and it low-key hurt my soul to read. Reading how they have been negatively impacted by my limitations, and how they view what I go through has been the worst kind of eye opening.

And I’m not sure how to deal with that, or even where to look.

If you’ve got motherly or fatherly advice, if you’ve been through similar, if you’ve been through something else hard, please feel free to share. Anything helps.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I don’t feel comfy sharing something, however as a mother it’s a hard thing to say but resilience and learning to let things bounce of you will make you feel happier. I know that sounds easy to say but inhibitions based on what others think just stops you being happy.

Not everything is sweetness and light but you can choose to enjoy happiness your way. Even the little moment.

I hope you get the extra support you need. Please take comfort in knowing you are loved and people even far away are wishing you to be happy

[–] ButteryMonkey@piefed.social 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your words and support <3

I do my best to let stuff go, this one is just challenging my view of myself as capable and independent, and that’s hard.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If you told your friends to write an impact statement to upgrade your disability, they're going to do the best job they can to make you look as helpless as possible to make sure you get it :>

[–] Hoohoo@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

Not sure if this helps, but my boss calls it catastrophizing over change.

I think OP has to remember they were asked to caterwaul. It's far more myopic than normal. Most people can make do in the absolute worst conditions, and there's a lot of laughs in between dire statements. We all tend to hold up as best we can.

You can be right about exact conditions, but way over the top when it's about morale.

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago

This was my thought too. If my good friend told me to call her a name because she needed it I’d step up!

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

Even strong and independent deserves some rest too. Probably even more. Your shoulders are not boulders. Take some weight off if you can.

So if you need help, you need help. Don’t feel bad about that. You are human.

If your buddies didn’t like you they wouldn’t be around and they wouldn’t bother putting words together. Chat with them, they are only human too.