this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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So old man time. In the early nineties things did not look great. Almost any college degree was not bringing in a salary one could like think about having a family with. Then came the late nineties and dot com and tech jobs were like the only thing that paid to possibly have what was, in many peoples mind, the typical middle class life. You know own your own home thing eventually. Since then its been tech or bust and now tech is bust and there is no go to field for people to run to.
Homeowning and paying a mortgage, especially now, is the single most important thing maintaining my quality of life.
A neighbor recently sold and it is now a rental. Paying that rent would effectively raise my housing costs about $20k a year.
It's almost exactly the same house and lot. It's insane.
Have you done the math on it though? Yeah, a mortgage stays constant, but to get a mortgage, you need a down payment, closing costs, and whatever you're paying your real estate agent. And then there's maintenance costs, utilities (most purchasable homes are larger than what you'd otherwise rent), probably extra costs to get around, etc.
If you instead took that down-payment and additional costs and invested it in a diversified stock portfolio, how would they compare?
I'm in a similar boat where my mortgage is now less than half of what rent would be, but my house is growing in value far slower than stocks. Here's a nerdy video discussing rent vs buy, and the result is that it's more of a wash than most people assume. This is extra true if you properly account for repair costs (i.e. if you DIY, what's the value of your time?). The decision to rent vs buy is far less consequential in terms of long-term financial impact than most people assume.
I did the math. I bought in 2019 and all those costs and expenses were nothing compared to ballooning rent. My monthly housing expenses went down across the board. The equivalent cost of rent since purchasing dwarfs closing costs and even all the maintenance that's gone into the place. Rent (in America) is calculated to cover all possible homeownership costs so I'm paying for the new fridge or hot water heater one way or another.
Plus I haven't had to move legislative districts since.
If we use some rules of thumb, it gets closer:
Take the down payment and closing costs as an initial investment, the repair costs and any difference in initial mortgage payment vs rent as regular investments, and adjust maintenance and rent (and the difference between mortgage and rent) for inflation. Run those numbers to estimate total wealth after a given period (both house appreciation and investments) and you should end up with pretty similar numbers. I'm ahead on mine as well, but only by ~10% after about 15 years, and my area had really rapid rent growth.
I think it's an interesting exercise that may not be applicable to everyone since it doesn't take into account the discipline needed to invest the difference.
That's also looking at just pure numbers.
I was forced to move every year I was a tenant. I hated it. And the fees and expenses of moving weren't insignificant, not to mention the time. Some places I lived I never unpacked.
But now I have kids. Things like school districts matter.
Stability matters beyond the strict dollar amount sometimes, if not most times.
Sure, there are tons of intangibles that go into it. I'm just saying that people shouldn't buy because that's the only way to get ahead, they should buy because that's the lifestyle they want.
Yeah but you're arguing that to someone who already said they did buy. You can make that point but you're directing at the person you're responding to, who has already said they own a house. You are going to strain your shoulder.
It turns out more than just the person I responded to read these comments. That is who this exchange is for, OP likely doesn't care one iota since they've already made their decision (and I mine). I'm merely suggesting that home ownership isn't essential and may even be detrimental to financial success (depending on local markets and personal habits).
I hope it's an eye opener for someone that decides to do the math and find out for themselves what's ideal for them. I don't care one bit if people buy a house or not after reading what I have to say, I only hope that purchasing a house is a lifestyle choice and not an obligation to "get ahead."