Tinder sort of just randomly sends you people after 3 days of being like "there is no one in your area". That's fine because in my area, it's nothing but tradwives, country music, and fishing profiles.
I tried Veggly because a super bonus point is finding someone to chill with that is also vegan. Well, there's like 4 people in my area on there. Sort of figured but lol anyway. There are a few more if you check like 500 miles away but not quite looking for the nomadic life just yet.
Tried Feeld, and no. Just no. I'm open to various relationship dynamics but that ain't it.
Tried Hinge, it was mostly dead until I changed my gender back to male and put that I'm only looking for women. Feels a bit disingenuous but whatever. But again in my area, I keep getting Christian tradwives and shit.
And if you find someone that seems nice on these dumb apps, they have to like you back before they can communicate with you. But... but... you can spend $149.99 to see who liked you. Not predatory at all. Just me heading back to the dating slop machine to toss more money at it to see who likes my ugly ass.
But like I've seen a few that I genuinely liked but will never be able to contact since it's all behind a paywall.
Saturday evening I matched on Tinder with 3 people. First one, said hey and they unmatched, second one I waited for them to say hey, then replied and they unmatched. 3rd one flatout ghosted me.
I got a "like" notification from a random old dude yesterday on Tinder but my profile isn't even set for interested in men.
I redid my entire Hinge and Tinder profile like 3 times each.
On Bumble I got a like notification and actually spent $25 to see who it was. She was cute, seemed nice. So we talked a bit, she gave me her number and we talked on the phone some. We talked a bit about our own messed up lives. She had breast cancer, which isn't a dealbreaker, she's ND as fuck, but so am I. We went on a date. It was awkward. First her pics on Bumble were from like 15 years ago. The whole date was awkward, but towards the end we decided to go for a walk and the conversation was just about exes. Which is never a good sign. Then my ex actually fucking called me because the kids wanted to show me their Legos. That caused me to spiral all over again. So still processing the divorce. Went home and got trashed and realized that I'm not gonna be a good fit for this person that I went on the date with. She needs someone that can take care of her. I can't even take care of myself.
I'm probably done with even trying to find someone that fits me. I'm too old to start over. This city sucks for trying to find anyone remotely close to my personality.
This shit is just fucking depressing.
Thanks for coming to my rouxTALK.
Edit: I'm buried in the comments but at work rn. I'll try to get to the rest tonight. I honestly didn't think this would gain much conversation since it was met to be me screaming in the void. โค๏ธ๐ค
I've had one good date from the apps, it was Hinge specifically, but I'm an awkward nerd with self esteem issues. I didn't ghost, but I did awkwardly end things.
Since then I've realized that the traditional dating scenes aren't for me and the app dating is even worse. There is something so impersonal about the apps that made the meetup more awkward than an ice-breaker at a strange bar.
That's all there is though. What other ways are there to meet people?
To be honest I feel like I've lost out on the most important part of life because I didn't date when I was younger due to mental health reasons for like 6+ years. I think I'm going to give up on even trying now, because the lack of experience is plainly obvious and anyone can pick up on it in 2seconds. I don't think I'm capable of real human connection.
real and exactly the same situation here
It sucks because I'm craving it so desperately, but I know I'll never know what it's like, to be loved.
it's worse to have them leave you
At least you have loved and lost. You know what it's like.
during is good but i strongly prefer the time before to the time after and would gladly trade away the highs for never experiencing the low
Yeah, you're right and I was very much at the same point.
I lucked out being introduced to my partner by a mutual friend. So I guess that would be an alternative, its better than the cold walk up in public, there is at least some sort of introduction made by someone you both trust.
You either play algorithms online, find a niche community where everyone lives 500 Km + apart.
Or use your time after the slog of the 40 hour work week (+ commute + the things you need to survive) to either go to clubs / classes you have to pay for 200 โฌ + to even get into and hope you can find people there, or you apparently bond with people over shared drug consumption.
Alternatively, you can also seek people at work or perhaps an org you're in, but that has the chance to backfire spectacularly.