Microblog Memes

"I dreamed I saw my maternal grandmother sitting by the bank of a swimming pool, that was also a river. In real life, she had been a victim of Alzheimer’s disease, and had regressed, before her death, to a semi-conscious state. In the dream, as well, she had lost her capacity for self-control. Her genital region was exposed, dimly; it had the appearance of a thick mat of hair. She was stroking herself, absent-mindedly. She walked over to me, with a handful of pubic hair, compacted into something resembling a large artist’s paint-brush. She pushed this at my face. I raised my arm, several times, to deflect her hand; finally, unwilling to hurt her, or interfere with her any farther, I let her have her way. She stroked my face with the brush, gently, and said, like a child, “isn’t it soft?” I looked at her ruined face and said, “yes, Grandma, it’s soft."

-Jordan Peterson

I’ll take that opening.

I was in a large, beautiful house with my whole family and captain picard there. As punishment for some unknown crime, we had to keep all doors open, could not cover ourselves with anything (even blankets), and there were cameras everywhere, live-streaming everything. The people punishing us had 250k dead crows that they wanted to bury us under, and they just used the cameras to keep track of where we were and they were trying to trick us into getting caught near the open doors or letting them in. Their only restriction was that they couldn’t go inside without permission. On top of that, I was asked to explain a crappy joke with lots of buildup to Picard, but he kept getting distracted and I had to keep restarting.

This happened last week as I was a bridesmaid for a very complicated wedding.