this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2025
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I had some dickhead coming at me the other day on Lemmy for not having completely erased Facebook from my life. As though that's a remotely reasonable thing to expect everyone to do.
It's not like making a personal decision not to use Amazon or to install Linux. It's a social network. It's literally not possible to make the decision unilaterally, unless you want to cut yourself off from people you care about IRL and from real political organising.
Sentiments that would be completely incomprehensible 20 years ago.
based on the replies it's incomprehensible to some people right now 😂
I did it. There's plenty of other ways for people to get in touch with me.
there's one right there!
Eh, it's not that different from the way humans have always been. Maybe you didn't like drinking in the 19th century, but if the local pub is where all your mates meet up to hang out, then the pub is where you go.
Obviously a personal choice, so noone should be giving you shit about it, but I moved all the people I want to talk to onto Deltachat/Signal/SMS (in order of my preference), that works perfectly fine and I havn't found someone who is opposed to all of those options.
Moving your 1-on-1 chats is one thing. Moving political organising, sports clubs, social clubs, and your various group chats is something very different.
If Facebook is so central to your life... Not sure what to tell you. I got banned from FB for posting that fake nude of trump and it's the biggest favor they did me. So glad to be away from that garbage fire.
Facebook is central to my life. I use it because that’s where local support groups for the disease I have are. I need this location-specific information to keep up to date on disability benefits and so on. Not everything is about politics.
Same why I'm still on Reddit. I'm definitely not getting people who struggle with the same illness that causes fatigue and brain fog to spend more energy they don't have on switching to another platform that doesn't even come up when you type it into a search engine to seek support from other people affected by the illness. It's easy to say "don't use this, don't use that", if all they use these platforms for is for memes and messenger.
I had to create an account and use Facebook in my support job days, because that's where everyone was posting shift exchange requests. An entire department won't just switch to Signal for this just because the new person refuses to use anything not FOSS.
Same witht cars. I prefer not to use my car, and I'm happy that in my day-to-day life I can just walk, cycle or use public transit. But if I'm visiting my parents in the countryside of another country, I'm sure not spending—checks notes—9 hours on train with multiple connections instead of just under 2 by driving the car.
Do what you can to avoid using all these, but don't go to the extremes where you're not getting the info you need or getting to places you need to be. Should the the message.
That sounds like a defensible use of it.
You can safely assume that most Fedi users that are still on Facebook have a defensible use of it. It’s quite unlikely that anyone around here uses it for entertainment which is why the tone you or others use is unnecessarily condescending.
I don't think I was condescending. It's possible you're just tired of hearing about this topic.
And no, I cannot assume that at all. 99% of fb use is indefensible, if not more
Uh huh.
Sorry you're mad about the truth. Guess you're telling me you don't really have a defense. Because I certainly didn't say that
K
Have you seen anyone on Fedi saying „yeah, I need Facebook because otherwise where would I get my daily AI shrimp Jesus fix?”. Your mental health will improve when you stop assuming everyone you don’t like is evil.
.... Okay. You don't really understand anything about what I'm saying or my mental health
See, I don't post posts to my Facebook wall. Haven't done in years. I use the Groups, Events, and Messenger, because that's where people already are. Responding to a person with "Why are you using Facebook?" and, when called out on how shitty and judgmental you're being, doubling down on your own (in the general sense, not you specifically, Dacy) shitty behaviour by saying you should avoid it "because they’re using a website that is complicit in making the world a lot worse? not sure how this is a strange concept on lemmy" is just ignorant of how people interact with other people.
It's the same shitty judgmental attitude that the OP was calling out in this post.
There is being a dick about facts people don't want to hear and there's better deliveries. I can't disagree at all that the world is worse because of Facebook or that people using it is the only reason it can make the world worse. But I'm trying to be less of a dick about it. I try not to be one of those extremists.
One of the problems with Facebook is also present on Lemmy, which is where people dehumanize each other and act like total extremist dicks. At least on Lemmy, it's not generally going to pay dickheads who profit from that or for genocide or other suffering.
It's a complicated world out there but some facts aren't complicated and that increases the likelihood of people being blunt extremist dicks about those facts. Sucks but that's just how it is
Neither can I. And I'll take any opportunity I can to try and persuade people to organise in other spaces and espouse the benefits of doing so. (Check my Reddit account: it's been mostly inactive since the API debacle, but literally every contribution it has made has been friendly nods towards Lemmy and Piefed.) What I would never do is belittle someone for using it, apropos of absolutely nothing at all.
I deleted my Facebook account when they said they were going to stop fact checking. I just made a post telling anyone who wanted to stay in touch to text me, gave them a week, then deleted the account. I've also been more politically active since leaving Facebook than I ever was before, as most major movements these days are using email mailing lists instead of social media groups.
I'm not going to say you have to delete Facebook or anything, but like, this sounds more like excuses than anything else to me. I have friends who still have Facebook who only keep it purely because they originally signed up for various apps and shit using their facebook account, and so they don't want to lose access to those things if they delete the Facebook account, and they are honest about it. I don't see them going around telling people like me that it is unreasonable to delete your Facebook account.
Also, it is 100% a personal decision to not use social media. You do not Need to be on social media. You don't need to be here, or on Instagram, or Bluesky, or anywhere else. You Do need real life connections and interactions. If you don't want to give up Facebook, fine, but don't act like it is an impossibility to make that choice, just don't make excuses man.
Ok. I don't know where you are, but that's definitely not the case here. It's literally all done through Facebook Groups and Events.
Same for sporting and social clubs. If you're not on Facebook, you're not getting updates.
America. I took part in the No Kings rally, among other events, and all of the information was communicated through email.
Also, sporting and social clubs? Ew.
Like, WTF? Is there something wrong with social and hobby clubs?
What's with the random dunking on social/sporting clubs? It's one of the few ways available for many people to enjoy their hobbies and make new friends. "Ew?" Are you serious?
Email might be a good way to alert the broader public about things that have been organised. But for the smaller-scale stuff? For organising what your group's response should be to begin with? That needs to happen either face-to-face (in which case the question becomes: how do you organise a time and place for that) or on real social media. Email just isn't really cut-out for that kind of task. It doesn't have to be corporate social media. Matrix chats or a Friendica group would be just as good in theory. But in practice I've never heard of that actually being done.
And just because you're apparently anti-social or whatever, doesn't mean everyone else is. "Ew." What is it the kids say? "Touch grass"?
Yeah I found it weird to read that the thing I gave up and feel better for being rid of is not possible to give up :/
that isn't what Zagorath said though
They said something akin to it's almost impossible to give up. But I have no intention to argue about it. My comment was more about how it read to me in the moment. I can't say exactly what they were thinking.
if I tell you it's not possible for me to poop in your pool that doesn't mean i'm telling you it's not possible for me to poop.
If you focus on one single word in a sentence and ignore the way the other words change that sentence you have failed to grasp the meaning of the sentence.
I deleted my reply comment to you above within 30 seconds after making it because I realized I was arguing with you even after you said you didn't want to. If your instance didn't federate that then I apologize.