this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 0 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

She spent 5 years without attempting to make headway on something that is disgusting, makes the area smell disgusting, makes her smell disgusting, will stain skin and teeth, harms her and reduces her life span, harms her partner and reduces his lifepan when he DOESN'T CONSENT, and harms their relationship. She is UNQUESTIONABLY an asshole. You do not have a leg to stand on. Your arguments are just "Oh but she might need it to cope."

I don't care.

She is an addict and is refusing to budge. As someone who went from a pack every two days to nothing, and as someone who went from drinking half a pint of vodka everyday to nothing, I can categorically say she is an asshole. If she is outright refusing, as OP said, then she is in the wrong. She is choosing addiction over her relationship. She's not just an asshole. She's a horrible person and her love for OP is genuinely questionable.

You do not get a pass from being an asshole simply because you have an addiction. At first? Sure. But she has been doing it for 5 YEARS and after being talked to about it she's doing nothing. She no longer gets the umbrella of empathy for her addiction and she should be called out for it. She's being selfish and putting her own wants over the health of everyone involved.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 0 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Bro you’re the asshole. He consents by staying in the relationship. He’s an adult not a child with no ability to leave the situation. You hate smoking, good for you. But you need to chill the fuck out, holy shit this triggered the fuck out of you.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 0 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

Bro, you're the asshole [...] You hate smoking, good for you. But you need to chill the fuck out, holy shit this triggered the fuck out of you.

Good to know you have literally no real argument against it. You just had to resort to insulting me when I never did anything but challenge your argument.

He consents by staying in the relationship.

He gave her an ultimatum on the renewal of marriage and was asking if she was an asshole due to that. No. He doesn't consent by staying in the relationship when he directly asked about it in the first place. You're just immediately defending her addiction and saying essentially it's her support blanket. It's a weak defense.

This entire encounter is pathetic. You responded to my comment challenging my point and then got uppity when I dared to slap your point down. Just go away.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 0 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Next you’ll be telling depressed people to just brighten up and anxious overeaters to just eat less. In your childish view of the world where either one person is an asshole or the other must be, with zero nuance, it wouldn’t surprise me.

She’s not an asshole. Maybe they’re not a good match. But just because he tells her she needs to quit something that’s notoriously difficult to quit and she doesn’t do it, it doesn’t mean she’s an asshole.

If you want me to go away try to not engaging in further discussion lmao.

Are you 12?

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Some people cope by smoking, others are chronically online sad assholes. Choose your vice, I suppose.