this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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I'm pretty sure it started with some chick named Mary cheating on her spouse, and then "Uh, no, it's uh, it's... MAGIC! Yeah, I got pregnant from magic! But the magic was a person you see, named uhm, looks over at pet dog, named do- uh no, g-o-d, his name was God! God gave us a magic baby! Yay!"
That's the new testament. Pretty modern and woke stuff compared to the old testament which is the common root of Abrahamic religions.
And that tells a lot about the state of the whole thing, really.
don't forget the part where she got her fiance/husband totally snookered and/or dosed with magic mushrooms or something; and then appeared to him pretending to be an angel telling him to shut the fuck up and go with it.
(or maybe she got a friend to be the angel?)
Edit: also, can we talk about how if the story is real... there was no chance that Mary could give meaningful consent?
For religion rape is a feature not a bug
Well, the whole virgin Mary is later stuff. Joseph was the father probably. If there was any Jesus at all - the "objective" historical mentions we get are not really very first-hand, so it's all kind of clouded.
So, like, To go with more modern names, it'd be like some guy named Michael having a kid they named Braiden. In that particular time and place Yoseph was a super common name; as was Yeshua.
Which suggests there were many, many people named "Yeshua Bar Yoseph" which is part of the reason we have "Yeshua of Nazareth"
In fact, there was probably more than one Yeshua bar Yoseph from Nazareth, even if it was a small town. just like how there's Braiden, Brayden, Braeden, Braidyn. It's probably a good thing I'd never have kids because I'd name them all Zathras
The power of women. She and few schizophrenics changed the whole society.
Mary was a teenage girl that was being married off to an older man who was already widowed with children (at least, I think that’s the Catholic claim. “Perpetual virginity” and all that means that Jesus shouldn’t have siblings..)
I think rationally she was a teenage girl that was raped by a Roman soldier, and considering that not being a virgin on your wedding night was the kind of thing that, at least on the books, could get you killed…
If Mary lied, that was a really smart move.