this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
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Tesla: Due to the attacks on our dealerships and stock, we currently only have refurbished cybertrucks to offer. Here is one which has the panels reattached. It's just like it came out of the factory.
Customer: wasn't that mine that I just returned?
Tesla: yeah but this time we used gorilla glue. Please ignore the finger prints and hairs that got stuck to it. We let Elon's kid stick them back on for a photo op. He only got his hand stuck 5 times.
Tesla: alternatively we've got this one going cheap. It only has one swastika painted on the side that we couldn't get off, otherwise it's brand new.
It's a hot deal. Like, no really, someone needs to put out the fire from that Molotov cocktail... Fucking Patriotism throwing our Tesla tea into the bay.