this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2025
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The Onion

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“I spent hours in my lab and finally created a device that would bring me right to the moment Hitler was born so I could give that baby a piece of my mind and change the course of history,” said Representative Eastlund while enjoying a delicious plate of apple strudel at a quaint Austrian cafe. “I didn’t want to be rude when I arrived at Hitler’s place so I stood in the doorway and held a sign that said ‘Save Medicaid’ as high as I could. I’m pretty sure baby Adolph saw it, but he may have been sleeping. After about 15 seconds a man with a very thick mustache escorted me out of the building, but my message was pretty clear. I’m excited to see how much better the world is once I go back to the present.”

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[–] Nemean_lion@lemmy.ca 21 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

We need to start killing them again. They feel too safe.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

see, I would argue that killing them isn't the best thing to do. death makes bodies easy to cover with a coffin, easy to valorize, easy to homogenize and erase. death makes it easy to tell glorious lies. you ever seen a military cemetary? they don't list birth/death dates, don't let you know that this is a field of dead kids. they're soldiers now. everything else that was lost is erased.

living broken bodies are a lot less politically convenient. they don't put VA hospitals in propaganda war films.

that said, killing nazis will never not be cool, even if I am right, which I may not be, and it is not an optimal strategy.

[–] Nemean_lion@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

Executions in the fucking street. That's how it always should have been but we went soft. I'm going to be less soft going forward.