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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 19 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

You basically just described a walking, talking red flag. What an asshole. That’s your answer btw: no.

Also, just going into a relationship to cure your loneliness is insultingly unfair for your future partner. This red flag is on you.

Just sort your own stuff out and stay away from any relationship for a while. You will only hurt yourself and others when starting one now.

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 hours ago

I don't think it's unfair as long as you clearly communicate it and the other person is okay with it. Lots of oddities can be okay and fair as long as they're clearly communicated about and agreed on.

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

that makes sense, you’re right. i reworded it, i realized how wrong it sounded