Seriously, I wanna go 
every time I read some carrer growth opportunity bullshit. It's either a job or it isn't.
I really despise anything remotely related to linkedin or whatever kind of creature dwells in that place. Can everyone do this stuff? Like, is this really how everyone gets a job? I can't deal with all this pretending, everything requires having a linkedin profile, but not only that, you gotta sell yourself somehow. And I don't even use social media.
Well, I have a bachelor's degree from a good University, I'm good at what I do, here's a portfolio. But no, I have to prove I deserve to be selected as a producer of wealth for my potential boss by pretending to be someone else. Can't we all just be practical about this shit? I have to keep trying to put myself into boxes and trying to fit with a sort of profile that I just can't and don't know why.
Am I autistic? Like, do I go get a diagnosis and maybe that will help? Do I go do something on my own? Then I have to figure out what an then sell it, and I'm bad at that. I don't know what to do and I'm tired of trying. (I was almost crying while writing this paragraph).
Honestly though, I just wanted to rant and this is one of the few places I feel safer in. Thanks for reading my 
rambling
I've shot out HUNDREDS of applications in the past 14+ months. I've had maybe a total of 8 or 9 interviews in that time. This is in tech, so I get that shit is changing, but in my defense I've been doing my role for about a decade, and it isn't something that AI has taken over JUST YET.
It's frustrating, soul crushing, and i hate it. Im this close to just applying to stock shelves or fill online orders at the whole foods a block over from my partners.