1033
Working remotely (lemmy.world)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 91 points 2 weeks ago

How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 134 points 2 weeks ago
[-] MaggiWuerze@feddit.org 55 points 2 weeks ago

And your hands get all hairy

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!

[-] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 12 points 2 weeks ago

Can I do it till I need glasses? lol

[-] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

They’ll just give you government issue glasses

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Yup, gotta keep at it until you can't see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn't do braille.

[-] Joncash2@lemmy.ml 42 points 2 weeks ago

This is just a poor translation. It's a colloquialism to say you're jacking off when you're lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it's the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What's really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it's from a translation and you know that, your brain didn't think about the colloquialisms. It's kind of crazy how our brains work.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago

I'm aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Decadence isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe masturbation.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

+100 social credit

[-] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If it weren't fun there would be no humans

Perhaps we should be paid to fap so it does contribute to the GDP

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Are you a CPC official?

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

That's boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes

[-] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Leave a man idle enough time and he'll end up masturbating that's where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.

[-] OwlPaste@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago

When the mortar tube is clogged with cum...

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

And that's how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.

[-] taladar@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 weeks ago

Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

Hold on, I'm almost there.

[-] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 10 points 2 weeks ago

They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.

[-] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.

[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Something something male essence

[-] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I don't avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence

this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
1033 points (99.5% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6757 readers
714 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS