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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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I was a transgender child. Going through forced puberty led me to attempt suicide at 14 15 and 18. Parts of my body are covered in self-harm scars due in large part to the utter repulsion I felt at the effects of testosterone on my body. I became an alcoholic at 16, and an oxycontin addict by the time I was 20. The day my voice cracked was one of the worst days of my entire life. I stopped being able to look in the mirror when I was 15 and I avoided it pathologically until I had been on hormones for several years. For reference I started counseling when I was 13. I was receiving therapy throughout all of this.
I am extremely lucky to be alive. I have had to spend tens of thousands of dollars undoing the harm testosterone did to me and some things I can never fully undo. I could have avoided all of this if I had had access to puberty blockers. If I had been offered puberty blockers, I would have taken them without a thought, and I categorically would not have regretted them. I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was 4. I knew that I didn't want to go through testosterone puberty when I was in grade 4, and they taught us what that was.
Is forcing us to go through what I went through humane? When a real treatment exists right there? When studies show a less than 1% rate of regret for gender affirmative care for minors? Do you realize you are forcing children to go through what I went through? Do you realize not every child will survive? Do you realize you're supporting causes that kill children? For no fucking reason? Because you don't fucking understand what we go through and have no fucking interest in listening to us? How about asking trans kids what they fucking need? How about asking trans adults what being a trans child was like for them? No you have no fucking interest in any of that.
Many hugs friend. I remember the immense feelings of disgust, confusion, and frustration when I started bleeding at 10 years old and began developing breasts. I didn't want any of that. It felt so unnatural. I suffered a lot of health problems from hitting puberty so early, and ironically puberty blockers would have been an effective treatment but they either didn't exist or simply weren't offered back in those days.
I am sorry you had to go through all of that and I, for one, am very glad you're still with us and fighting the good fight.
Thank you. I'm glad to be here, too. Affirmative care allowed me to become the woman I am today, and for that I am very thankful.