YOU WILL USE THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE
YOU WILL CALL E~L~O~N THE MEME MAESTRO
YOU WILL DAYDREAM ABOUT WHETHER YOU WILL GET A WINDOW SEAT ON THE MAGIC METAL DICK TO MARTIAN PARADISE
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.
Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.
Rule 3: No sectarianism.
Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome
Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)
Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.
Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.
Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml
Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again
"And so" said he, the divorced man
"I have, at last, a master plan.
To purchase things to woo a woman
Buy her spices, silks, and linens
Perhaps a horse for her to ride
Will keep her loyal by my side."
To the market he did hurry
Moving quick and slightly worried
He found the clothier had closed
The flower shop had not a rose
He asked about and found out, too
The horses had been sold for glue
He pulled his scalp as he despaired
Unplugging all his plugged-in hair
"I cannot buy the things I need,
To get a girl to marry me!"
He stopped a moment to reflect
On what thing he would try next
He called up all the fortune tellers
Sayers-sooth and potion sellers
Wizards, mystics, learn'ed men
By bribe or threat he beckoned them
He told them all (straight up of course)
"You must make me un-divorced!"
He drank the brews, said incantations
Real stuff - no imitations!
He fasted til he was delirious
And said "At last!" (and he was serious)
Proclaiming that he'd had a vision
"It's not me, they need religion!"