this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 92 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I’m a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle’s hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well

Obviously fake. Texans don't read or write.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

My buddy likes to tell people the biggest exports from his hometown are illiteracy and methamphetamines.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town.

It took me until this part to recognize it.

"I own several kimonos, which I wear around town"

Well done. 10/10.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 16 points 1 year ago

This pasta has been served before tho

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not mine, alas. Probably from some forgotten 4chan genius.

[–] Bricriu@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I understand these words separately, but together.... 🤔

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

4chan has long been the fountainhead of the internet. All memes and pastas spring from there in some fashion or another. But so do other, darker things...