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this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Having gone through what is essentially sleep deprivation torture when raising twins, I believe this and the guilt would be unimaginable.
A friend was taking a walk with her daughter, she called her from the other side of the street. She didn't see the car coming though. The daughter ran over the street and was killed by the car.
She couldn't see the car, because the parked cars were bigger and blocked the view.
An unfortunate accident, but she never got over it. It's been 30 years, but she's as devastated as before.
Yep, done reading this thread.
That's horrible. Can't even imagine.
From the bottom of my soul, FUCK big cars. Our cars are so much bigger than they need to be, and they legitimately ruin lives with their size and blindspots.
"I don't want to risk anything in my large truck. I want everyone else take the risk for me."
This is like a dark intro into game theory.
You would not believe the downvotes I've gotten for saying this exact thing. I'm not a parent, but I do take the time to really consider what having to care for an infant would be like. I have been sleep deprived (edit: though, nowhere near the level of a new parent) so I perfectly understand how you could unintentionally cause the death of your kid. I think the hypothetical I gave was something like
I know the terror I feel from that little hypothetical, I can't believe it doesn't hit close to home with actual parents too. And then, to be held socially - even if not legally - liable on top of your own guilt... an awful, horrible, soul-chilling situation to contemplate. I wish there were more compassion for new parents, I'd bet it's more common than we think that parents' bodies just shut down from the strain.
I thought I understood the sleep deprivation until I became a dad. The part most people don't account for is the chronic nature of it. It's not 1 night, or even a few, it's weeks and months of it. It's also combined with having your hormones thrown for a loop (yes, men too!). It jams your brain in ways you would never expect.
It's so easy to screw up that badly that I'm amazed at how infrequent it actually is.
I am actually in my big sleep deprivation peak with the second one, and I thought I knew better after the first one, but there is just no breaks.
6:30 am to 8:00 pm every single day of the week, and then trying to catch up the house chores and anything we've missed during the weekend.
Then, people have the gall to tell me I should be all fresh when I have one morning in months where I don't have to wake up at 6:30. Motherfucker, I haven't really slept a full night in months, it's not one night that will fix it all.
Modern society isn't compatible with parenthood.
We are supposed to be in walkable cities and not forced to labor away for an entire 1/3 of most days just so someone else can buy a yacht.
I would believe it. People here are absolute fucking idiots about situations they think they would be perfect in, and never understand how mistakes/sleep deprivation/routine disruption happen.
It's like the adage about security: blue has to get it right every single day, red has to get it right once.
A lot of people just don't seem to experience empathy as deeply as some of us.
Sleep deprivation is no joke and doesn't take many nights at all. A while back, the worst upstairs neighbors on the planet woke me every night, multiple times a night. My cognitive function definitely suffered.
I hope those neighbors are miserable wherever they ended up. They deserve it. I asked them multiple times with decreasing politeness to not slam doors or fling objects around at 3 AM.