Milk comes from female animals. Real men drink bull semen shakes.

Apparently "cotton" and "Mexican" are slurs

Personally I was hoping for a heart attack. Did anyone think an assassination, successful or not, wouldn't just lead to a complete shit-show?

Well that was certainly a thing

Daim, that's a sweet erth

But I can still keep the dinosaur, right?

Illuminati confirmed

Luckily there are no Christian babies to abort

Honestly doesn't seem too far off from standard Redditese to me

I, too, become erect by swiveling my penis 180°

It never bothered me per se, but it's definitely awkward to come across some chapter of human suffering on r/HistoryPorn.