s38b35M5

joined 3 years ago
 

I've been keeping a journal in multiple ways since 10/2024. Tracking moods and meds with graded scales, but also writing daily.

Until last night, I had NEVER gone back and read any of them. I went back to the beginning and saw a distinct pattern. I wonder now whether I would have suspected that I have BD2 before if I had read the journal sooner. My pattern is seasonal, at least primarily. October, things get dark for me, which lasts until about February, when I am SUUUPER happy and productive. I also have episodes other times, but I can count on at least two each year in spring and fall.

Entries like, "I forgot to journal yesterday because I didn't go to sleep last night. I just spent $650 on a new CPU and motherboard. I think I'm going to buy a brand new GPU for $750 too. I don't need it, but I'm already on a spending spree, so why not?"

Or, "I just went outside and everything is so beautiful, I can't even begin to describe it. I asked (my wife) to join me, but she refused. It's too cold for her. She says I'm being like her when she's hypo. I don't know why she insists on projecting her illness on me." Yeah, that one was kind of a doozy.

Or, "I had a really bad night last night. Suicidal. (Wife) wants me to go to our pDoc.. Well, she thinks I would benefit from a mood stabilizer ...the kind that only people with bipolar take. Take from that what you will. Could I have bipolar? Am I sure that I don't have it?"

And lastly, "[Wife] says I am talking too much and too fast. But I just want to show her how much fun I am having playing the PIANO!!!! I can't believe how far I've come in the past few weeks. I never dreamed that I could be this good at it. My hands know what to do even when my eyes are telling me the hands are wrong. I feel like there's nothing I couldn't play."

It's been really fun (and a little embarrassing) going back through the journal entries. I had no idea I would. It's actually funny that I never even considered going back and reading it. Ha! That's kind of the whole point, isn't it? Well, leave it to me to miss that.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I began titration with Lamotrigine today.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Diagnosis confirmed. I start Lamotrigine titration today.

Official Dx: BD2 with rapid cycling, mixed features, seasonal; PTSD/Anxiety

Now I know.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Yes! I just heard of this recently. I hope it catches on.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

No radio ability to connect to cell towers or WiFi would be nice. I think there's a brand doing this, but I forgot to read that article I saw about it just a day or two ago.

Edit: here it is: https://arstechnica.com/cars/2026/06/slate-says-its-electric-pickup-will-never-track-you/

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ugh. Hear that. I had a boss that would take me aside and put me on special projects, then later come out and proclaim, "Drop everything you're working on!" To give me a new, stupider project in front of someone he wanted to impress. Later, "Why isn't that special project done yet?"

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Baseline. I got 8+hrs sleep (and I wasn't in bed for 20hrs to get it). I want to go outside and am not immediately worried that I'm not invisible.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Quiet part out loud used to be career ending.

 

I'm pretty amped. I can't remember any other time I've been this excited to talk to a doctor. The more* I read about bipolar, the more I feel like a dummy for not seeing it sooner. Then I feel dumber for thinking I have it without first being diagnosed. My wife thinks the diagnosis is just a formality at this point; a foregone conclusion. I have a certain kind of luck that leads me to be more cautious, but I'm still optimistic.

I'm thinking, "What will it be like, starting new meds? Will I feel bad before I feel better? Will I feel anything at all, or will it just sort of be ...normal?" I also can't stop worrying that the doctor is going to say I'm trying too hard to be diagnosed. My wife laughs at that. Says our doc loves talking about this stuff, and she doesn't think he will disagree with our assumptions. So I'll just patiently wait and hope I feel good about whatever results from Wednesday's visit.

I won't lie. If I leave that doctor's office without a BD diagnosis, I will be very disappointed. That's supposed to be a good thing, though, right? Man... I have never WANTED a diagnosis before. My wife is already giving me hugs and saying things like, "You have the best mental illness, baby. I always knew we were the same." and, "Now I have to call my friend and tell him two 'manics' can be together in a relationship! In your FACE, Ben!"

I love her enthusiasm, but imposter syndrome makes me feel like I'm on the outside looking in, and the doctor will gate-keep me outside, saying I just want to belong, but I don't have BD. So, if that is the case, I guess I have to be alright with that. In that case, though, I wonder how to classify my symptoms.

*I have consumed lots of bipolar info since 2017, when I started dating my wife. Now it's different, though. It's me, not my SO.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I also wanted to share the following:

I skimmed the stickied posts, including the common medications one. At first, I was going to post a comment about one particular med I saw on the list that absolutely kills me and my wife, but then I saw the top-voted comment sort of covered it.

Trazadone. This med is awful for me. I've been given it three times as a sleep aid. Nope. It's more of a chemical torture instead. It makes me tired. So tired I beg for sleep. But I am also restless and my thoughts are racing. I will crawl into bed, barely able to stand, dizzy and groggy. But once I am in bed and try to sleep, I just can't stop moving or thinking. I can't even be sure if I am really moving, but the entire time I am dosed with Trazadone, I am incapable of sleep.

Temazepam 15mg is what works for me. I still only get about 4hrs of sleep, but I can at least sleep.

I hear about Trazadone being used a lot in a hospital setting, and the feedback from nursing staff is that it is very unreliable and patients seem more agitated on it than not, but it keeps being prescribed as a sleep aid. Maybe my experience is really rare, but I suspect it isn't.

 

This community is pretty quiet, but I wanted to drop a short check-in post anyway.

On Wednesday, I will see my pDoc to be evaluated for bipolar II. I just came off what I (and my wife with bipolar I) think was a hypo episode that peaked for about 9 days (after checking my computer history and sleep/mood journal). According to my wife, I get hypo every spring, but this one was the first one where sleep was completely optional for me. Some days I would sleep for 2.5hrs. Some days I wouldn't sleep at all. During that time, I was doing three things: playing my digital piano, playing games on my PC, and editing a mediawiki fandom site, creating 275+ updates with more than 1k characters in five days, over 170 of them on May 5.

I thought I was just being really creative and multi-tasking. I know that I really did level-up with the piano. I have third-party confirmation of that, but, yeah, I think that maybe I wasn't as awesome as I thought I was. Like, I know I got better at piano from playing basically all day for almost two weeks, but I also know I am only self-taught, and I didn't become a wizard or something.

After reading the bipolar sections of the DSM-V, I am fairly confident the diagnosis would be Bipolar II rapid cycling with mixed features and seasonal pattern.

So, I don't know if our suspicions will be confirmed or not, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to belonging to this community, and feeling like a label actually helps me when it comes to this.

Anyway, I don't know if anyone will see this post, as this community seems sort of fizzled out, but oh well. I just feel better sharing this. It helps me come to terms with it, I think.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I already forgot where I got this, but... Yeah.

Be sure to use AI when making your next, I don’t know, meal plan, for example. Definitely do not call your friend who loves to cook and ask her for her favorite recipes or tips or ways to save time making meals, because you will end up talking for longer than you had hoped, hearing, perhaps, about her father’s cancer diagnosis or how lonely she’s been or even what she’s planted in her spring garden and then lost with the early frost.

And be sure to use AI when planning that next camping trip, the last one you will take with this particular child. Definitely do not text your friend who has fly-fished every river in Pennsylvania and biked every backwoods trail, because you might end up texting back and forth for the rest of the day or even meeting up late for a beer and hearing how he has ended each recent night black-out drunk, or perhaps you’ll hear how his cousin is an idiot on Facebook or maybe just that he repaired his own washing machine and is pretty damn proud of that.

And be sure to use AI when your next child gets married, so that you can write them the perfect toast or poem or speech or song because no one wants to hear your words, the actual poorly written words of a parent (you) who changed hundreds of diapers for said child or fed them in the middle of the night from your actual body. Or cried when they were late home because you were positive they were dead. We don't want those words—we’d prefer the sterile words of a machine that never lived, never had an original thought, never felt the pain of miscarriage or broken relationships or the joy of a friendship restored or of seeing spring’s first robin dancing on frost.

And be sure to use AI when working on your next book or essay or piece of art or photography, and then smile or even laugh at your own cleverness when you see how good it is, and how easy, because who the hell has time to work at something, to give time to craft, to create with their own minds, to spend years being mediocre. Why do that when mastery, or at least competency is so simple only a good prompt away?

How magnificent the funeral song our children or contemporaries will write for us, a song they will make by taking our obituary and Facebook posts, plus random quotes from our algorithm, and feeding them into Chat or Gemini or Claude. The tears that will fall in the face of such sanitary sweetness!

Be sure to use AI

and while you do I’ll be over here in my 50th year, my youngest daughter asleep on my chest, my arm falling asleep because I dare not move lest I scare away this moment, lying here melancholy about my older children moving out and my middle children no longer needing me, at least not like they used to, weary about this body that fails me now in ever increasing ways that will never be restored. Sighing over stories I tried to write but never hit the page the way they felt in my mind.

But isn’t that, my flesh-and-blood friend, the natural order of things?

the longing for something that could always be a bit better

or the way that anything worth doing feels a bit clumsy and painful, especially at first

or hearing another human voice and somehow realizing the beauty of life is found in all of these subtle imperfections

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

The more I talk to my wife, the more things she remembers that point to me having bipolar. It's surreal that I am not aware of most of this stuff. Not just like, "Oh, yeah. I remember that. That does seem like a hypo episode." More like, "What? I was just feeling creative and I didn't want to sleep for that week in case I lost that feeling... oh, now that I say it out loud..."

Thing is, for the past decade, I've related to bipolar as the partner of my wife, who has bipolar 1. I look for signs in her, and I collect things that cheer her up or bring her to reality (I have some interesting stories on this topic, but not fitting for this post). In short, I work hard to be her most dependable support system, as a matter of survival. I don't know how to look for the signs in myself yet.

[–] s38b35M5@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Thank you for your reply! Wall of text incoming!

I can't imagine I would ever even get diagnosed without my wife's insistence. We are really good for each other, and that's simply one of the ways she's really good for me. She is also the one who prodded me to go get my ADHD dx. We had been together about a month, and we were driving to a park with my son. I was telling a story, and I kept getting sidetracked by details. You know, like I would mention something, then think I have to explain it or give back story before moving on. So it took me like... twenty minutes to tell a one minute story. She said something like, "You've just hit the seventh level of inception on your story, honey." Other times, we would be talking and I caught a funny expression on her face, like she was scared or overwhelmed. "What's wrong? Why do you look like that?" ... "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble keeping up with your pressured speech and racing thoughts. I think you might have ADHD. That is if you don't have bipolar." I got dx'd about a month later.

So back in 2017, she was aware that I exhibited signs of Bipolar. She also pointed out then that my sister likely has it, and my father (who she only met last June) almost certainly has it, based on conversations with my mother, so it could be familial for me. I think I remember stories of my father's grandmother being kind of moody and unpredictable, but I never met her. In my wife's family, her mom has depression, and all the girls in her generation (or family tree branch) have it. Five of them. Their grandmother and her sister had it too, though I think they didn't call it Bipolar then if it was even fully-diagnosed.

The thing is, I just figured she had confirmation bias. Maybe I'm not using that term correctly, but I thought that maybe she just wanted to see these things so we had more in common, as silly as that sounds now. It wasn't until my recent mixed episode that lasted a little over a week that I began to accept that I may have a mood dysregulation disorder and impulse control issues. Especially, the symptoms seem to be worsening not that I am treating my depression with Bupropion for the past year and a half.

I still may not have Bipolar, but after going through my mood journal* that covers the past 19 months, and listening objectively to my wife telling her side of the story, I am starting to believe it -- even accept it. I put together a document that I'll bring with me to the doctor. In it, I document everything I can remember from my recent episode. Things like how long I was awake without sleep, things I was doing with my time, and how I felt about it. I also listed some instances of functional impairment, impulsivity, etc. I sometimes have difficulty verbalizing complex emotions, so I have to focus more on what my body was doing instead. I shared the document with my wife and she thinks the doctor is going to love it. I know that ADHD symptoms are sometimes mistaken for bipolar symptoms, so I'll leave the differential diagnosis to my doctor. The thing I want to hear most from my doctor is something like, "Yes. What you are experiencing is real. It has been studied. We have a framework for it."

As for meds, like you, my wife also takes Lamictal, and she swears by it. She was on lots of others before she got here. She and I (before I considered I may also have bipolar) used to lurk the reddit bpso sub, and almost weekly, there would be a non-SO there talking about not needing meds, all while exhibiting delusions of grandeur, paranoia and psychosis. She was like, "Yeah, when I was young I thought maybe I didn't need the meds, too. But you take them so you can stay out of the hospital, keep money in your bank account and your friends stay friends." She has also mentioned the degenerative nature often. She worries she will leave me caring for her when she "loses it." That is just to say, she doesn't miss a dose, ever. I am a little scared to try lamictal and seroquel or anything like them, just because of fear of the unknown, and worrying that it may "change who I am," but, I think I need a change. I also don't know if my doctor will want to treat many symptoms at once or begin meds one by one. I wonder if I will get something for my anxiety, and also a mood stabilizer possibly with anti-psychotics. I guess I 'll see. One thing is for sure: I won't be doing 90-day intervals of tele-health for the next year or so. I have a feeling my doctor will want me in the office every month.

Ha! I replied to your comment only after skimming it, and now I see that you mentioned how it runs in families. I have seen evidence to support this too. I think three out of four of my immediate family have it (counting me), and nine in my wife's family.

I'll close by saying that I don't want to get too ahead of myself. One doctor somewhat ruled out bipolar when I went in for my ADHD consult in 2017, but now I think I may recognize more signs than before. Even if I don't end up with a "label" of Bipolar Spectrum Disorder, I am confident that my doctor will still treat my symptoms. It's a spectrum, after all.

Thanks for letting me expound.

*I journal my medications, moods, outside influences like news and social media, motivation levels, meditation, sleep hours and restfulness, etc., and I also keep a written "free" journal for my thoughts.

Final disorganized thought on meds: I am worried to have to take multipl medications that I should never miss a dose of when pharmacies can be so adversarial. I know that Lamictal especially is one that you cannot go off cold. That's all. Take care.

 

I've been diagnosed MDD for about 16 months. Took me decades to realize I needed help just for that. Thing is, that's just what I dared to talk with my doctor about. I had a Catch 22: I think (in addition to my ADHD) I have Bipolar 2 alongside anxiety and PTSD and need to address it. I stopped seeing the pDoc because it's $375 each visit, no insurance accepted. I was able to get my antidepressants managed by my PCP, but not my Ritalin, so I've been of that for about six months. But now I needed to go back to get a diagnosis for my whole, actual condition and begin sorting out a treatment plan.

But! My anxiety makes me so reluctant to even talk to my doctor about it. I start to worry like always, that he will think I'm faking it. I always, always have a kind of imposter syndrome. I just had my second hypo-manic episode (at least since I learned what they are) that fortunately only lasted six days. A few days after finally getting some sleep (read: sleeping from Thursday to Saturday), I started getting waves of anxiety so intense I was feeling rollercoaster vibes and going fetal. Its happened twice when I was driving, which is no bueno. I can't identify a cause, most times. Sometimes it's when I think of the state of the world. Most times I have no idea why I feel scared.

So my wife (who has bipolar 1 with psychotic features, anxiety, etc.) Saw me struggling and gave me a tiny dose of alprazolam. I was chill in maybe ten minutes. It felt so nice to finally stop freaking out for a while. So she leveled with me. She told me she's been convinced of my BD2 for about as long as we've known each other, but she could tell I wasn't ready to accept it. That I need to go to our doctor (we share 'cause they're so hard to find nowadays) and just tell him how I feel.

So that brings me to today. I reached out and took the first step in getting back under his care. I plan to talk with my wife in the next day or two so we can make a list for me. If I don't have something to reference when I see him, I'll worry too much about "choking" and that he'll kick me out. I know it's stupid worrying that he'll judge me. But that's where I am. Oh well. A list of my feelings with times and situations where I was overwhelmed or when I was playing my piano for almost three days straight. How it felt, what I was thinking.

I'll bring in my list and maybe I won't even need it. But if I have it, I can handle going into the office. Then maybe I can get something like xanax for my anxiety, and if he agrees about bd2, then maybe look into a mood stabilizer and whatever else evens me out.

Also, is it weird that I'm actually happy in some way if I do have Bipolar? Like it brings me closer to my wife. I'm this way that I am anyway. But if I am diagnosed, then it's kind of like, not only do we share a disorder, but she gets to be right about me all along. She gets to say she saw the signs and waited for me to be ready, then helped me get treatment. That's good, right? She's awesome. She's only ever wanted to take care of me.

I know this is a little all over there place. I just needed to share somehow to make it real to me. Thanks for reading.

PS - I have to sleep, so apologies if you reply and it seems like I'm ignoring you.

Edit: typo

 

Buffoonery...

 

I updated to 2.43.7(?) A few days back. I noticed today that when I view any post, the UI ends up zoomed away a little bit. Almost like I'm in app switcher mode. I'll add two examples in a moment.

 

Your right to due process under the law is rooted in almost a millennium of precedent, and in the United States (as in other free countries), the power of arrest and detention expressly withheld from the executive.

Here is an extremely thorough and lucid treatise on habeas corpus by Chief Justice Taney following Lincoln's illegal invocation (and delegation to military officers' discretion) of its suspension to arrest and detain a Maryland man without judicial warrant, evidence, or due process.

...Executive power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America, to hold his office during the term of four years—and then proceeds to prescribe the mode of election, and to specify, in precise and plain words, the powers delegated to him and the duties imposed upon him. And the short term for which he is elected, and the narrow limits to which his power is confined, show the jealousy and apprehensions of future danger which the framers of the Constitution felt in relation to that department of the Government—and how carefully they withheld from it many of the powers belonging to the Executive branch of the English Government, which were considered as dangerous to the liberty of the subject—and conferred (and that in clear and specific terms) those powers only which were deemed essential to secure the successful operation of the Government.

[...]

...He is not empowered to arrest any one charged with an offence [sic] against the United States, and whom he may, from the evidence before him, believe to be guilty—nor can he authorize any officer, civil or military, to exercise this power; for the 5th article of the amendments to the Constitution expressly provides that no person "shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law."—that is, judicial process. And even if the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus was suspended by act of Congress, and a party not subject to the rules and articles of war was afterwards arrested and imprisoned by regular judicial process, he could not be detained in prison or brought to trial before a military tribunal, for the article in the amendments to the Constitution, immediately following the one above referred to—that is, the 6th article—provides that "in all criminal prosecutions the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defence [sic].

Emphasis mine:

And the only power, therefore, which the President possesses, where the "life, liberty or property" of a private citizen is concerned, is the power and duty prescribed in the third section of the 2d article, which requires "that he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed." He is not authorized to execute them himself, or through agents or officers, civil or military, appointed by himself, but he is to take care that they be faithfully carried into execution as they are expounded and adjudged by the co-ordinate branch of the Government, to which that duty is assigned by the Constitution. It is thus made his duty to come in aid of the judicial authority, if it shall be resisted by a force too strong to be overcome without the assistance of the Executive arm. But in exercising this power, he acts in subordinate to judicial authority, assisting it to execute its process and enforce its judgments.

With such provisions in the Constitution, expressed in language too clear to be misunderstood by any one, I can see no ground whatever for supposing that the President, in any emergency or in any state of things, can authorize the suspension of the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus, or arrest a citizen, except in aid of the judicial power. He certainly does not faithfully execute the laws if he takes upon himself legislative power by suspending the writ of habeas corpus— and the judicial power, also, by arresting and imprisoning a person without due process of law. Nor can any argument be drawn from the nature of sovereignty, or the necessities of government for [self-defense] in times of tumult and danger. The Government of the United States is one of delegated and limited powers.

Blackstone, in his Commentaries, (1st vol., 137) states it in the following words: "To make imprisonment lawful, it must be either by process from the Courts of Judicature or by warrant from some legal officer having authority to commit to prison." And the people of the United Colonies, who had themselves lived under its protection while they were British subjects, were well aware of the necessity of this safeguard for their personal liberty. And no one can believe that in framing a government intended to guard still more efficiently the rights and liberties of the citizens against executive encroachment and oppression, they would have conferred on the President a power which the history of England had proved to be dangerous and oppressive in the hands of the Crown, and which the people of England had compelled it to surrender after a long and obstinate struggle on the part of the English Executive to usurp and retain it.

ETA: apropos quotes

 

[SOLVED] - I learned that this is a sure way to break your Debian, and no matter how you go about it, you'd wish you either waited or used a different distro altogether for this purpose. In my case, I got Nobara 41 working, which already has the latest mesa. Trying to install the latest from Debian unstable almost got me pretty turned around, and I'm glad I switched course when I did.

Original post: Apologies for my fairly low-level question. I spent all day yesterday spinning my wheels on this.

(I do fine using Debian Linux as my daily driver, but I'm not ashamed to admit that this (and things in this area) are beyond my experience. I've never compiled anything from source. I used to be a wiz with DOS 6.22 and Windows through 7, but my brain just stopped learning these things properly some time in the past.)

My distro (MXLinux 23.x) just announced they're almost ready to include Mesa 24.2.8. I purchased an AMD RX 9070, and all my Linux games (HGL or Steam) are angry that Vulkan can't recognize a valid GPU.

I see that Mesa 25.0.2 should work, but I don't know how to either build & install from source or add a repo for that particular package only.

I see that Arch users can easily use the Mesa-git or others, but not my Debian 12.

I installed Nobara to a spare drive as a stopgap, but on that install, FH5 refuses to prompt for account sign in there no matter which Proton I use.

Edit: I'm using the AHS version which includes the liquorix 6.13.7-2 kernel, and none of the repos (testing, back ports) show a higher version of Mesa.

EDIT2:

System:
  Kernel: 6.13.7-2-liquorix-amd64 [6.13-5~mx23ahs] arch: x86_64 bits: 64 compiler: gcc v: 12.2.0 parameters: audit=0
    intel_pstate=disable amd_pstate=disable BOOT_IMAGE=/vmlinuz-6.13.7-2-liquorix-amd64
    root=UUID=<filter> ro quiet amdgpu.ppfeaturemask=0xffffffff init=/lib/systemd/systemd
  Desktop: Xfce v: 4.20.0 tk: Gtk v: 3.24.38 info: xfce4-panel wm: xfwm v: 4.20.0 vt: 7
    dm: LightDM v: 1.32.0 Distro: MX-23.5_ahs_x64 Libretto May 19  2024 base: Debian GNU/Linux 12
    (bookworm)
Machine:
  Type: Desktop Mobo: ASRock model: B650E Taichi serial: <superuser required> UEFI: American
    Megatrends LLC. v: 3.20 date: 02/21/2025
CPU:
  Info: model: AMD Ryzen 5 9600X bits: 64 type: MT MCP arch: N/A level: v4 note: check
    family: 0x1A (26) model-id: 0x44 (68) stepping: 0 microcode: 0xB404023
  Topology: cpus: 1x cores: 6 tpc: 2 threads: 12 smt: enabled cache: L1: 480 KiB
    desc: d-6x48 KiB; i-6x32 KiB L2: 6 MiB desc: 6x1024 KiB L3: 32 MiB desc: 1x32 MiB
  Speed (MHz): avg: 3175 high: 5437 min/max: 3000/3900 boost: enabled scaling:
    driver: acpi-cpufreq governor: ondemand cores: 1: 2900 2: 2972 3: 2959 4: 3018 5: 5437 6: 2819
    7: 3000 8: 3000 9: 3000 10: 3000 11: 3000 12: 3000 bogomips: 93602
  Flags: avx avx2 ht lm nx pae sse sse2 sse3 sse4_1 sse4_2 sse4a ssse3 svm
  Vulnerabilities:
  Type: gather_data_sampling status: Not affected
  Type: itlb_multihit status: Not affected
  Type: l1tf status: Not affected
  Type: mds status: Not affected
  Type: meltdown status: Not affected
  Type: mmio_stale_data status: Not affected
  Type: reg_file_data_sampling status: Not affected
  Type: retbleed status: Not affected
  Type: spec_rstack_overflow status: Not affected
  Type: spec_store_bypass mitigation: Speculative Store Bypass disabled via prctl
  Type: spectre_v1 mitigation: usercopy/swapgs barriers and __user pointer sanitization
  Type: spectre_v2 mitigation: Enhanced / Automatic IBRS; IBPB: conditional; STIBP: always-on;
    RSB filling; PBRSB-eIBRS: Not affected; BHI: Not affected
  Type: srbds status: Not affected
  Type: tsx_async_abort status: Not affected
Graphics:
  Device-1: AMD vendor: Gigabyte driver: amdgpu v: kernel pcie: gen: 5 speed: 32 GT/s lanes: 16
    ports: active: DP-1 empty: DP-2, HDMI-A-1, HDMI-A-2, Writeback-1 bus-ID: 03:00.0
    chip-ID: 1002:7550 class-ID: 0300
  Device-2: AMD vendor: ASRock driver: amdgpu v: kernel pcie: gen: 4 speed: 16 GT/s lanes: 16
    ports: active: none empty: DP-3, DP-4, DP-5, HDMI-A-3, Writeback-2 bus-ID: 4f:00.0
    chip-ID: 1002:13c0 class-ID: 0300 temp: 42.0 C
  Display: x11 server: X.Org v: 1.21.1.7 compositor: xfwm v: 4.20.0 driver: X: loaded: amdgpu
    dri: swrast gpu: amdgpu display-ID: :0.0 screens: 1
  Screen-1: 0 s-res: 1920x1080 s-dpi: 96 s-size: 509x286mm (20.04x11.26") s-diag: 584mm (22.99")
  Monitor-1: DP-1 mapped: DisplayPort-0 model: Acer XF250Q serial: <filter> built: 2018
    res: 1920x1080 dpi: 90 gamma: 1.2 size: 544x303mm (21.42x11.93") diag: 623mm (24.5") ratio: 16:9
    modes: max: 1920x1080 min: 720x400
  API: OpenGL v: 4.5 Mesa 24.2.8-1mx23ahs renderer: llvmpipe (LLVM 15.0.6 256 bits)
    direct-render: Yes
 

Two days ago, I became an unwitting victim of Amazon's lack of policing their 3rd party marketplace ecosystem. I hope I can get this in front of a few more eyeballs to save people from the experience I am now in. Here's how it went down.

Thursday, AMD dropped the Radeon RX 9070 and Radeon RX 9070 XT GPU. I won't bore you with the details, but I hoped to get one, by Friday I still hadn't and started shopping for a GPU from last generation. I setup a price alert on a few models and went to sleep. I woke at 3am to an alert (I forgot to silence my phone) that one of the models was on sale at a 27% discount from a 3rd party seller, and I groggily added to my cart. However, when added to my cart, the price jumped to 15% over MSRP. I removed and went back to the product page, refreshed, and saw the same discounted price. I copied the link and opened it in another mobile browser and the discounted price was there. I added it back to my cart and the price again increased by $150.

I contacted support, and they told me to make the purchase at the inflated price, and when it arrived, I would be given a discount retroactively by Amazon. I did so, put my phone on DnD and went back to sleep.

When I woke up, I checked my phone and saw I had two emails from Amazon. One was a price alert on another GPU, at the same deep discount from another seller. I clicked the link and saw the same price for the same GPU. This time, I was more awake, so I clicked the link to go to the "Gigabyte Store" and saw the same listing there. This one must be real, then right? I added it to my cart and the price remained discounted. I clicked the seller name and saw they had several positive reviews about fast shipping, great prices, etc.

Here's what happened next. I purchased the second GPU at the correct price and went to cancel the previous order. However, when I opened the orders page, I saw that it was already marked as shipped. Strange, I thought. It's only been five hours. So I couldn't cancel the order, but Amazon CS assured me earlier that I would receive the discount, so I shrugged and decided maybe I would sell the extra one, or give it to my son.

So I purchased the second GPU. Then I checked the second email. As I read, my face got hot, and my arms and hands began to tingle. Here is the email:

Hello,

We are writing in relation to your Amazon.com order #REDACTED.
We wanted to inform you that the seller of your order is no longer active on Amazon.com.

If you are expecting an order and you do not receive it within 3 days of the estimated delivery date, or if you have any other issue with your order, please report the problem. Our team will determine if you are eligible for a refund.
To report an issue, please follow these steps:
1. Go to “Your Orders” 
2. Locate your order in the list and click “Problem with order”.
3. Select your problem from the list.
4. Select “Request refund”.
You may also reach out to us at the following link:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/contact-us
We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Sincerely,

Customer Service
Amazon.com

Uh-oh. Wait. Amazon has seller accounts that can just ...disappear? And the only recourse is to wait to see if they ship the item to you? Here is where some of you may think, "this sounds familiar." I hadn't seen that before, and I trusted the Amazon system, foolishly.

I find the seller profile linked on my order page for the first GPU. The seller feedback (that I had never even seen before, as I guess I have always used Amazon fulfillment up until now) was five reviews. One 5-stars, and the remaining four were 1-star, all with SCAM in the text.

I think to myself, 'it's a good thing I bought that other GPU... that had the same ...price. SHIT."

I go to my second GPU order and click the seller profile. The previous glowing reviews are still there, but so is a new one with the current date that reads:

I have been waiting since the first part of December. If I didn’t need them I wouldn’t have ordered them. I had to order from a different company and get them within a week.

It's now Tuesday. Both items have "shipped" but with no tracking number, claiming:

Strange. I've always had tracking for USPS packages in the past. Oh, and my shipping date? Changed from March 12 to April 30.

All this is typical for this type of scam, it seems. I was oblivious to it until it happened to me. Here are the signs:

  1. Steeply discounted price on a popular item
  2. 3rd party seller with relatively low review count
  3. Fulfillment completely outside of Amazon
  4. Order is marked as shipped extremely fast
  5. Shipping will not include tracking number
  6. Seller closes their Amazon account

Obviously, if you get past #3, you've already been scammed.

Now, after a day of research into this scam, I can also share the following that helps clear up how and why this works like this.

Sellers don't get paid immediately. They have a regular payout interval, usually a week or two weeks. So they need to keep the customer waiting long enough to collect their funds before Amazon can step in. But, lucky for them, Amazon never steps in. As I discovered, their SOP is to have the customer wait until the delivery date (which was four days, then suddenly fifty+ days) before any attempt to make the customer whole is offered. This delay works in favor of the scammers, since they have time to collect their money before Amazon bothers to consider there is any fraudulent activity.

All this info in my belt, I called Amazon CS last night and asked for a walk-through of the two purchases, the seller accounts, and the policy. The CS agent viewed the seller profiles and confirmed they seemed scammy, and that they were both no longer active, but still eligible for payout. They could not confirm that any products had ever been truly offered, let alone received. At the end of the call it was clear that Amazon CS hands are tied. They have policies, and they won't budge. I won't even be eligible for a refund until after May 3, which is just under two months from my order date.

I didn't do anything wrong. I was supposed to be protected by Amazon, and I wasn't. They aren't supposed to be like eBay, where you have to carefully research every seller, because the platform invites fraud. This is the biggest e-tailer in the world (or is that Ali Express?), who positions itself as the most customer-focused company in the world. Unfortunately, they are either not interested in countering this fraud, or they are too slow-moving to keep up with the fraudsters. Or maybe I'm not the customer. Maybe the seller is. Or maybe it's the advertisers. But not me, anymore.

What I will do differently in the future:

  1. Stay off of Amazon.

They are in the business of making money, and even Chinese scammers make the company money. They may have to refund me my $1,000, but not for almost two months, and they got my payment into their bank account immediately. When they pay the scammer (and they will), they get to keep a percentage (30% now? More? I forget).

Obviously, I have noticed that many products on the marketplace there seem scammy, but I wasn't prepared to see one hosted on the GPU manufacturer's official store front. Oh, and the CS agent also told me that there is no way to assure that I can even get the product I purchased from another seller. That is to say, I asked if instead of a refund, I could have them just get me the GPU I ordered at MSRP (or even better, the price that scammed me, twice), and they said no.

I'm okay. I used my credit card, and I'm protected from fraud if it comes to that. To those who wouldn't have that option and can't be without $1,000 for two months, I would recommend you stay away from any marketplaces that allow 3rd party sellers on, as there is too much incentive to scam like this. There is ZERO risk to the scammer. Newegg (owned by Amazon) also allows 3rd party sellers , and if you look, you can find feedback there about the same scam.

Good luck out there.

 

The answer to "what is Firefox?" on Mozilla's FAQ page about its browser used to read:

The Firefox Browser is the only major browser backed by a not-for-profit that doesn’t sell your personal data to advertisers while helping you protect your personal information.

Now it just says:

The Firefox Browser, the only major browser backed by a not-for-profit, helps you protect your personal information.

In other words, Mozilla is no longer willing to commit to not selling your personal data to advertisers.

A related change was also highlighted by mozilla.org commenter jkaelin, who linked direct to the source code for that FAQ page. To answer the question, "is Firefox free?" Moz used to say:

Yep! The Firefox Browser is free. Super free, actually. No hidden costs or anything. You don’t pay anything to use it, and we don’t sell your personal data.

Now it simply reads:

Yep! The Firefox Browser is free. Super free, actually. No hidden costs or anything. You don’t pay anything to use it.

Again, a pledge to not sell people's data has disappeared. Varma insisted this is the result of the fluid definition of “sell” in the context of data sharing and privacy.

 

My GF is a ghost writer. The publisher has her write into files that are uploaded to a shared platform where editors and other creatives and execs tweak and move each chapter through several named states (represented by different folders), until it reaches "Final."

She gets paid per X words. Come the day before the deadline for payroll, they (sometimes, often its late) open up the payroll system, and she has to re-upload the Final chapter to a folder in that tracking system. Tonight (when they opened the system for her), she has to enter 130 chapters by 10am tomorrow.

It's not just moving a file. She has to download the Final chapter, select the text, copy/paste into the payroll tracking system, and then fix formatting that their silly system creates, like extra spaces, double quotes, etc. Each chapter can take minutes. These pasted chapters are then the final product. She has to stay up all night until its done, or she won't get paid on time.

I feel like she's being taken advantage of, doing admin work for free. This feels like someone else's job. Is this even compliant with labor laws? Is it legal to have her do 12hrs of gruelling repetitive labor to move her completed text like this? Her being paid is conditional on her entering this data.

I know hourly employees must be paid for hours worked, whether it was tracked or not, and tracking is an employer responsibility.

Edit: added more words

 

Georgia State Police officers stopped Amir Meshal, a professional truck driver, for a minor traffic infraction. During the stop, the officers received notice that Meshal was on the FBI’s No Fly List. Despite clear language on the notice instructing the officers not to detain Meshal based on his presence on the list, they handcuffed him and placed him in the back of a patrol car while they sought and waited for guidance from the FBI. While they waited, the officers searched the inside of Meshal’s truck and questioned him about his religion and his international travel. After determining that his truck was free of contraband and receiving the all-clear from the FBI, the officers released Meshal with a warning citation for the original infraction. He was detained for 91 minutes in total.

When [Officer] Janufka returned to the patrol car to tell Meshal that “narcotics- and explosives detecting canine teams were on their way,” Meshal asked “if he was being detained because he is on a watchlist.” Janufka responded, “Exactly. So, you know what’s going on?” Meshal then “explained that he had been detained in 2007 in Somalia by Kenyan authorities working with federal law enforcement agencies, and that he ended up on the No Fly List after refusing the FBI’s requests to work as an informant.” Janufka responded, “This is over my head. I’m getting instructions on what to do.”

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